HopefulLeigh

HopefulLeigh has Moved!

2011-07-11T09:30:00.000-05:00

Did you know that HopefulLeigh has a brand new address?

Come join me at www.leighkramer.com to see my new site!

Please be sure to sign up for a free email subscription while you're there and update the address in your reader.

Moving Day

2011-06-27T08:11:00.004-05:00

The time has come to say farewell to Blogger.

Come join me at www.leighkramer.com to see my new site and finally learn about my Big News!

(On the technical end, I haven't figured out how to move Google Friend Connect yet so please be sure to sign up for a free subscription via Reader or email once you're at the new site.)

An Update and a Winner

2011-06-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

Over the next week I'll be moving HopefulLeigh over to a new domain and a new home at Typepad. This will be my greatest techie triumph if all goes well.

I have a few dreams for this ol' blog of mine and part of that vision includes a bigger and better platform.

Ever since Blissdom, I've been contemplating moving over to another format. Months and months of contemplation. The pros and cons of Wordpress paralyzed me. To go with .com or .org? There were no clear answers.

I did what anyone would do in times of decision-making. I asked Twitter.

My blog friends Laura and Megan pointed me in the direction of Typepad and I breathed a sigh of relief. It is exactly what I'm looking for. And while activating domains and importing blogs completely freaks me out, the directions have been easy to follow. Word on the street, their Customer Services rocks so should I reach an impasse, I know where to turn.

All this to say, things will be quiet over here until the new site is up and running. Don't worry- I'll point you in the right direction when it's time!

Finally, the giveaway winner for Marla Taviano's new e-book is Kristin from Messiah Mom. Incidentally, I'd encourage you to read her recent post Fighting Ugly if you haven't already. I'm guessing it'll resonate with you as much as it did me. Kristin, I'll be contacting you with the e-book code soon. Congrats!

Giveaway: A Book That Keeps Giving

2011-06-16T10:15:00.002-05:00

I first discovered Marla Taviano when she hosted the Radical Read-Along. Since then, I've done another Read-Along with her and been inspired by her family's dream to serve on another mission trip at a Cambodian orphanage. Plus, she loves thrift stores and the library almost as much as I do. We were destined to be blog friends!

When she first shared about writing The Husband's Guide to Getting Lucky, I thought it was great she was working on another book and then went on my merry way. But when she shared her vision for this book, I knew I had to get involved.

I know what you're thinking right now. Leigh, you don't have a husband. Why are you hosting a giveaway for a book about sex?

Because, friends, that's how much I believe in Marla. I'm sure this book is packed with fantastic advice and information for the menfolk. But I'm more impressed with this: the sales of this book will go straight toward the Taviano's Cambodia Fund. How cool is that? You and your husband revitalize your bedroom life and you help orphans in Cambodia at the same time!

Here's what the book is about, compliments of the website:

Every red-blooded husband on the planet dreams of a satisfying sex life with his wife, but many are convinced it’s a fantasy that’s out of reach...“When it comes to sex,” Marla says, “husbands get a bad rap, but truthfully, most of them aren’t selfish, lustful pigs that think with their you-know-whats. They just happen to be wired for sexual intimacy and want to enjoy some with the woman they married. Too bad we wives aren’t on the same page.”...With her candid humor, she clues guys in to the way their wives operate and gives them practical suggestions for being husbands their women want to make love to.

And if you're wondering about the cover, yes, it was designed by the talented Wes Molebach. I'll get to the giveaway details soon but first I'll share a brief interview I did with the ever so talented Marla.

1. Tell me about your evolution as a writer.

Oooh, I like this question. Well, since I started writing when I was four, I've been at it for over three decades now. Wow, huh? I've definitely developed my own unique writing voice over the years--casual, conversational, and (on a good day) witty. I try to stay as true as I can to the actual voice I'd use if we were chatting face to face.

I used to wish I was more poetic or could weave words together in some crazy-amazing way, but then I realized that I do my best writing when I stay true to who God made me to be.

And I don't know that I even remotely answered your question.

2. Why a sex book for men? What makes this different from what's out on the market?

Have you ever heard authors say, "This is the one book I said I'd never write?" Yeah, well, this is that one for me. Why would I write a book for a segment of the population that doesn't even like to read?? Oh, sure, I know guys who read whole books, but they're definitely in the minority. Then I got several e-mails back to back from husbands who read my book, Is That All He Thinks About? and wondered when I was going to write the companion book for men. For the first time in four years, I gave it some serious thought, then just started writing down ideas on a whim. And it took off.

What makes it different? Well, it's fun. And funny. And completely real and transparent. I share my faith and how that colors my views on sex, but the book isn't preachy or dogmatic. I address a tough topic in a light-hearted way, but I don't take lightly what a huge honor and responsibility it is to be entrusted with such a thing.

3. Why did you choose to write an e-book?

Oh, lots of reasons. In no particular order:
1.) The topic lends itself to an e-book. A guy might be more likely to read an e-book about sex on his phone while sitting in the airport than a real book with the title in plain sight.
2.) The timeline. I wrote the whole thing in record time, and my web-guru husband worked out all the production details for me. We did it all in a month pretty much (except for a chunk of the writing I already had done). A "real" book would've taken over a year.
3.) I make less than a dollar in royalties on a book that costs $12.99. I can sell an e-book for $4.99 and keep up to $4 of that in some cases. Nuts. We're making plans to go to Cambodia on a family mission trip at the end of this year, and I would LOVE to earn enough money to reach our goal.
4. What is your prayer for this book?

My prayer is that husbands (and wives) will be infused with hope. Hope for their marriages, their sex lives, their future together. I want to help couples bridge the disconnect when it comes to sex and our male/female views of it. I believe God wants a husband and wife to be fulfilled and satisfied in an intimate, loving marriage. And I think it's a dream that's well within reach.

***

Thanks, Marla! Now I'm no expert on this subject matter but it seems like both husbands and wives would benefit from a little read through. The e-book is available in PDF form, as well as for your iPad, Nook, and Kindle. And at just $4.99, this is a perfect last minute Father's Day present.

Marla has generously offered a free copy to one of my readers. Entering is easy...
1. Leave a comment! Tell me about the weather, your plans for Father's Day, or whatever you feel like.

Extra entries:
2. Link to this giveaway from Twitter or Facebook, then leave a comment here telling me you did it.
3. Link to The Husband's Guide to Getting Lucky website from Twitter or Facebook, then comment here that you did so.
4. Follow Marla Taviano on Twitter, then comment that you did so.

This is going to be a quick giveaway. You have until this Saturday June 18 at 12 pm to enter. Good luck and spread the word for the sake of marriages every where!

My Someday Something Blue (Four Years)

2011-06-13T10:00:00.008-05:00

I'm perched on the edge of your bed, fingers traipsing through your jewelry box, admiring this piece and that. It is strange looking through your necklaces and rosaries while you lay in the living room.

I find a St. Francis medal and laugh. We had been in the kitchen as you washed dishes and I dried. You told me you were praying to St. Francis on behalf of my marital status. The patron saint of lost causes. I might have been offended but you reassured me that this was who you prayed to while you were waiting for Grandpa to propose. Since you've been married for almost 57 years, I'd say it turned out all right.

Even though I don't believe in praying to saints, I tuck the medal away. One more reminder of you and that day. It seems a lifetime ago, instead of a few months. I can't wrap my mind around these changes or think about all that you will miss out on.

How is it possible that you'll never witness my walk down the aisle or cradle the babe I hope to someday birth? No matter that I'm not guaranteed either will happen. I just thought you would be there, the way you always have been.

It's almost two months since Aunt Teresa died. We are only now getting around to going through her clothes, photo albums, life. Making the piles doesn't ease the loss but we still open drawers and file items away. We say we are making things easier for Grandpa, for after. But maybe we're making it easier for us too. It seemed a natural progression to move on to other rooms.

Still, I knew my place. I could go through Teresa's belongings but not yours. Not until Mom summoned did I peer into your room and collection of baubles.

I don't remember noticing your jewelry before, though these bits and pieces are somehow familiar. How to pick out that which you hadn't yourself bequeathed to me...what was here that would remind me of you?

This is a rare moment in which I'm glad to be the only girl living in-state. Always outnumbered by the boys, today I have no competition and there is no rush. Mom and the aunts have had first choice and now it's my turn before Clara and Emily arrive by plane.

And then I see it, lopsided from its weight, a large spot of unexpected turquoise. It is not your style but it is perfectly mine. No one remembers seeing you wear it. But it's here, in your jewelry box.

The design is faded, indicating it was well-worn by someone. All I want to do is to wake you up and ask you about this ring. Did someone give it to you? Did you buy it while out in Arizona visiting your twin? Did you ever wear it?

You might wake up but your mind would be too hazy to remember. The season for asking and talking and laughing with you is over.

I know with certainty that this is my ring now and I hope that no one else wants it, sighing with relief when it's mine to claim. It fits on my ring finger, which is strangely apt, as if you and St. Francis were conspiring.

It's not a fair trade, you for this ring, but the cancer didn't ask for our opinion. I wear it for the rest of the weekend, the week, and then your funeral.

I don't know why this not-you turquoise ring speaks to me so. On days that I'm missing you, I put it on and feel a little more OK, a little sassier, a little more me.

And that's what I've needed this past week. You've been gone four years now, Grandma. I wear your unexpected ring and remember all of our talks, how you led by example and taught me so much. How faith in God was your greatest priority and then your family and friends. You deeply loved and were loved deeply in return.

If your then prayers to the patron saint of lost causes someday pay off, this ring will serve as my something blue. I know you won't be looking down on me that day; that's not how heaven operates. But I'll look at this ring and remember and hold you close in my heart just the same.

It's Not Me, It's You

2011-06-08T08:11:00.002-05:00

Because it's June and summer makes everyone happy and busy...

Because I have exciting news brewing...

Because I love my readers ever so much...

I'm going to take it easy for the rest of the month. It won't be completely quiet here though. I have a few posts planned, as well as a few guest posts coming up.

Soon I'll share my news so be sure to follow or sign up for a free email subscription so you don't miss out! You can also Like this little ol' blog on Facebook. So many options!

Today though is not about me...it's about you.

I'd like to hear from you! Tell me about who you are, even if this is your first time here, even if I already know you, even if you comment every time I write (you're my favorite, if that's the case!), even if you never comment. I want to hear about what makes you tick.

Some bloggers call this a "de-lurking day" but let's just say it's a way of becoming acquainted. So, hello and welcome.

Tell me whatever you'd like. If you're searching for inspiration, answer one of these questions:

What do you care most about in this world?

If you're a blogger, what's the best post you've written in the past month?

And most importantly, if you could only eat desserts or snacks for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

Take a moment to say hello.

My Famous Baked Mac and Cheese

2011-06-06T08:11:00.001-05:00

The roots of this recipe go back to my first Dinner Club. It was Kibibi's turn to host. The star of the show was her baked mac and cheese. I'm sure the rest of the meal with amazing but we are all enamored by this cheesy decadence.

I begged Kibibi for the recipe, which she gladly passed on. I believe her aunt was the one who came up with it. I've tweaked it in the years since and made it my own. If I happen to mention that I'm making this mac and cheese, friends invite themselves over or mention they're drooling over the memory of the last time I made it for them.

It is that good.

Now you may wonder why I'm posting a hot dish recipe when it's been in the 90s here. All I can say is thank God for air conditioning! I was in need of comfort food last weekend and this fit the bill.

Baked Mac and Cheese
1 lb. any type of pasta, cooked and drained (I prefer penne (big) or ditalini (small))
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
1/2 c. mayonnaise (do not substitute Miracle Whip)
1/2 c. sour cream
4 c. cheddar cheese
Reduced Fat Cheez-its, crushed, about half a box's worth
1/2 stick butter (optional)

While the pasta is cooking, prepare a 13x9 casserole dish with cooking spray. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix together mayonnaise, sour cream, and cream of mushroom soup. Once blended, add cheese and mix well.

When pasta is al dente, drain the water and then add to the mayo-cheese concoction. Then spread this into the casserole dish. Sprinkle the crushed Cheez-its on top, as much or as little as you'd like. This will add a nice crunch and texture to the mac and cheese. If desired, cut the butter into pats and place these at regular increments on top of the Cheez-its. The butter takes it even further over the top!

Bake for 45 minutes or until Cheez-its are slightly browned. Prepare to be delighted and then adored by all who enjoy the Mac and Cheese!

May Somethings

2011-06-02T21:57:00.000-05:00

May turned out to be hectic but that didn't keep me from reading, listening, cooking, and so on. A few of my highlights...

I Read: First, I'd like to thank everyone for all the feedback on my Book Nerds Unite series. I seriously loved talking books with you all and adding some titles to my To Read list.

I finally finished 1000 Gifts (Voskamp), which earned a spot on my bookshelf amongst my favorite books. I love her approach and perspective to grace and gifts. You may remember that I started counting the gifts when I picked up her book back in March. I've just written down my 446th gift. This blows me away!

(I read 7 books this month.)

Currently Reading: The Right to Write (Cameron) has been lovely. Freshly picked up from the library: Blood, Bones, and Butter (Gabrielle Hamilton). I've read fantastic reviews and I'm a sucker for books by chefs. And then 3 from the YA category: Across the Universe (Beth Revis), As You Wish (Jackson Pearce), and Shiver (Maggie Stiefvater). Interestingly, most of the YA books have been mentioned by blog friends in the past year. I thought it was time to give them a whirl!

TV: Season finales were more miss than hit for me. The ones I loved were for Chuck (it will take them in interesting directions next season), The Vampire Diaries (seriously blew me away! Oh, that Damon.), and Parenthood (why does every episode invariably make me cry?)

I'm excited that So You Think You Can Dance is back on the air! If you follow me on Twitter, you may find me discussing the show as it happens with some of my other similarly obsessed friends.

Even though I found Ashley to be crazy annoying on The Bachelor, I have been watching The Bachelorette, if only to make fun of her glaring lack of discernment. For those who are watching, is Bentley not one of the slimiest guys that's ever been on the show? As in, next week he's going to tell her he doesn't like her and never has- he went on to promote his business and has repeatedly said he wishes that Emily had been the Bachelorette instead. I hope he's the exception, not the rule when it comes to single men. Because me? I need a good guy and he is so not it.

Movies: I rented How Do You Know with Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon, and Owen Wilson. I did not have high hopes but I like all 3 actors. It was funny but the characters were SO awkward! And the ending was completely implausible, which was irritating. Then I rented The Switch, which I actually did have high hopes for. I mean, Jason Bateman is in it! Anyone who likes Arrested Development can understand where I'm coming from. But if we want to talk about "this would never happen in real life," this movie would be at the top of the list. From the first few minutes until the very end. So disappointing! Finally I watched Sex and the City 2. Though I never watched the show when it was on, I've watched reruns here and there and really enjoyed the first movie. Let's just say it wasn't as good as the first.

I did get to see one of my favorite movies (500) Days of Summer at Movie in the Park last night. It's always good watching a movie outside with a crowd, especially when The Grilled Cheeserie and The Cupcake Collection are nearby.

Any good movie recommendations?

In the Kitchen: For Easter I made Lemon Thyme Chicken with Sauteed Zucchini Ribbons. The zucchini ribbons are pure heaven.

I've taken my Ben and Jerry's ice cream obsession to a whole new level. I bought 4 flavors the other day. I can't get enough of Red Velvet Cake and Peanut Butter World. In fact, PBW may be my all-time favorite ice cream. I have always loved chocolate peanut butter ice cream and they nailed it.

Listening:
I went to Music City Roots the other week, as The Civil Wars were playing. It was my 4th time seeing them this past year! Call me a groupie- I'm OK with that. But the real surprise of the night was The Vespers. They are incredible! Loved the music, the harmonies, the look, all of it. And how nice for you that they've put their album up on NoiseTrade!

What were your May highlights? I'd love to hear your recommendations!

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe

2011-06-01T08:11:00.035-05:00

Now before I get started, let me say I have no wish to offend you, your taste in books, or the authors that wrote these books. At one time, I thought the books and authors listed below were the bee's knees. However, I have reread them in more recent years and had a change in heart.

If you still like them, kudos to you! There's no judgment here. I'm glad you like them, really I am! Someone took the time to write a book and that is no easy feat. They're just not for me anymore.

A partial list of the Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe:
The Babysitters Club series- Ann M. Martin I read my first BSC book in 3rd grade. I could not wait to start babysitting! Mary Ann, Kristy, Claudia, Stacy, they all became my guides. Chances are, you had a favorite BSCer. I always felt Stacy was the coolest, what with her NYC background and hip 80s fashion. But oh, the writing. And the scads of backstory each and every book! To this day, I can remember that Claudia was the artsy one who hid junk food in her room and thought she might be adopted because she wasn't like her brainy parents and sister, who may have been named Janine. (Is that right? Why do I remember her sister's name???) I ended up skipping the 3 to 4 pages about each girl as the series progressed. Great books for that time of my life but I'd rather eat chalkdust than read one again.

Jeannette Oke- I believe I was in 3rd grade when a teacher recommended I give the Love Comes Softly series a try. I can remember her standing in our school library, feeling proud I was an advanced enough reader to give "more grown-up" books a try. She just loved Oke's books. In fact, I remember working at The Christian Bookstore many years later and selling her the latest ones. By that time, I was less than impressed with the plots. I had romanticized the characters in Loved Comes Softly and her other series. I tried to reread the few that I owned several years ago and just couldn't do it. While written for adults, they read at a much younger reading level. But hey, they entertained me for quite awhile and I'm sure that teacher is still buying the newest title year after year.

Mary Higgins Clark Initially I was astounded by her mysteries. The twists! The turns! Who the killer turned out to be! And then I realized just how formulaic they were. I'll always have a fond place in my heart for Loves Music, Loves to Dance and Where Are The Children? but I'd prefer not to have solved the case by page 5.

Redeeming Love- Francine Rivers OK, OK, I can hear the indignant protests from a mile away! The first two times I read this, I bawled like the rest of you. Then I tried to read it a few years ago and I just. could. not. It was painful, I tell you. Painful. I didn't want to not like this book that has touched so many people's lives. But there it was. I'm choosing not to reread her Mark of the Lion series or The Atonement Child because I'd like them to remain pristine in my mind.

Sweet Valley High series- Francine Pascal Tell me truly. Did you want to be Elizabeth or Jessica? I loved the twins' adventures and romances. Sweet Valley seemed like such a great place, whether we were reading about high school or graduating to college SVU. And I loved the two stand alone books that looked at the Wakefield lineage! However, well-written these are not, perhaps because this is a ghostwritten series. I'm glad that Young Adult lit's standards have risen since the Sweet Valley days because there's no way they can stand the test of time. The latest incarnation Sweet Valley Confidential has been raked over the coals by critics and fans alike. I'm going to let Jessica and Elizabeth stay in the past where they belong. I wonder if the Canby Hall series would be any better?

Winter Dreams, Christmas Love- Mary Francis Shura Oh, the love story between high school freshman Ellen and her upperclassman crush Michael. My heart swoons at the very thought! In fact, during high school my best friends and I convinced our guy friends to help us recreate our favorite WDCL scenes, in which I played Ellen and my friend Ryan played Michael. Little did I know that the guys were taking bets on whether Ryan would really kiss me during our Big Scene. (He didn't. Once I learned about the bet, I wasn't sure whether to be angry, embarrassed, or disappointed. Those were the days!) This was YA lit at its finest circa mid90s. It may be telling that this book has been out of print for quite some time. But I'm keeping my copy for nostalgic reasons and perhaps because I'm still a sucker for a good love story, even if it's poorly written and poorly plotted.

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction
Going to the Classics
Best Book Series
Childhood Faves
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (today)

Agree? Disagree? Do you have any books you used to like that now make you cringe?Are there any future Book Nerds Unite categories you'd like to suggest?

Thank you everyone, for indulging me in this series. It has been so fun to talk books and add to my To Read list, as well as remember the favorites I'd forgotten all about.

The Books of Childhood (Book Nerds Unite)

2011-05-30T08:11:00.156-05:00

I remember the first time I read by myself. I don't recall the name of the book but hazy illustrations have remained in my mind. I was around 4 years old, sitting in my bedroom at my parents' first house. That realization that the letters meant something, that I could understand how they composed a story. That moment changed everything.

I have many fond memories of the books that raised me. Mom reading to my brother and I. Classrooms full of books to read and borrow. Our local library, a frequent haunt of mine, which won awards.

I still see myself sitting on my favorite part of the couch, feet propped on the coffee table, reading for hours and hours. My parents used to tell me to go outside, get some fresh air, and so I'd drag my book with me, setting up camp on a swing or the random inner tube we had. It's not that I didn't like playing and running outside- I did. But it was hard to remove myself from a story once begun.

There are so many books that I've forgotten about. Many contenders from Battle of the Books, like The Witch of Blackbird Pond, that I know I loved but can't remember why or what the plot was about. Books enjoyed at the time that now make me cringe or reflect my reading tastes back then. These listed below still endure. I may or may not have reread them in recent years. A well-loved book might be better than comfort food at times.

Chances are you will tell me about your favorite childhood books and I will smack myself on the forehead. Of course! How could I forget? That is what I have appreciated about this book series, not just sharing the books near and dear to my heart but hearing about the ones you've loved best. Adding to my To Read list but also remembering the ones I'd forgotten. Thank you for that.

Favorite Childhood Books:
Black Beauty- Anna Sewell I went through a horse book phase. I couldn't read enough books about horses but this one always stood out against the rest. It's funny that I loved these books because I never had a desire to go riding myself. Apparently I just liked reading about other people that did.

Bridge To Terabithia- Katherine Peterson Secret imaginary kingdom plus boy and girl friendship and then a horrible twist. Did anyone read this and not cry?

The Face on the Milk Carton- Caroline B. Cooney Remember those milk cartons with the pictures of missing children? Yep, there's the inspiration. A girl discovers the people she thought were her parents actually kidnapped her and she has a "real" family. Bonus points if you remember that Kellie Martin starred in the TV movie. Cooney's books were great, though I tended to stay away from her "scary" titles. The Girl Who Invented Romance was another fave, simply because the name "Leigh" is mentioned.

Frog and Toad are Friends- Arnold Lobel I mean, it's just so sweet and endearing!

The Giving Tree- Shel Silverstein The tree who loved her boy. It totally could have been creepy, yet it wasn't. Where the Sidewalk Ends was always good for a laugh.

Hinds Feet on High Places-Hannah Hurnard Mom read this allegory of the Christian life to my brother and me, as well as its sequel. Better than Pilgrim's Progress from my recollection of the two.

James and the Giant Peach- Roald Dahl I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Dahl. Such interesting stories he spun for us. James the orphan who befriends insects living inside a giant peach. It's a strange premise yet it works perfectly. The BFG was another favorite.

Little Women- Louisa May Alcott I always thought of myself as a combination of the strongminded Jo and artistic Amy. I can still remember taking it off the shelf in my 4th grade classroom, unaware of the four sisters its pages held yet ready to dive into their world.

Little House on the Prairie- Laura Ingalls Wilder My friend Ruth and I used to play LHOTP in her backyard. We were all about the pioneer life! I first read this in 2nd grade and loved not just the story, but also knowing it was based on a true story.

Nancy Drew and the Secret of the Old Clock-Carolyn Keene I should have mentioned Nancy in my series list but she's so solidly connected to my childhood that it seemed more appropriate here. There was something about the plucky teen sleuth that was relatable. I envied her convertible and boyfriend Ned. Wherever Nancy's books went, I inevitably followed. I can still picture where the books were kept in the library and the time I found an original copy at a resale shop. Those Case Files were the best but it all started with the Secret of the Old Clock.

Old Yeller- Fred Gipson I can barely think of this without crying. Saddest dog story ever.

Ramona Quimby, age 8- Beverly Cleary Ramona's adventures were enjoyable tales. Who couldn't relate?

Seventeen Against the Dealer- Cynthia Voigt The final book about the Tillerman family was my favorite. Dicey's struggle to make her way ends up leading her away from her loved ones. The lessons she learns are lessons we must all learn.

Summer of My German Soldier - Bette Greene Maybe this is where my interest in World War II began? A young Jewish girl strikes up a friendship with with a Nazi POW leading to repercussions for herself and her town.

The Tale of Peter Rabbit- Beatrix Potter Oh that Peter Rabbit! The illustrations bring the story to life. The movie based on Beatrix's life is worth watching just to see how she found inspiration.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn- Betty Smith My all time favorite book when I was in middle school, this coming of age tale of a girl observing her family and trying to make her way in spite of her surroundings still resonates with me today.

The Westing Game- Ellen Raskin Such a great mystery! I never saw the ending coming. Did you?

Winnie the Pooh- A. A. Milne Silly, willy, nilly old bear. Winnie the Pooh and company still hold my attention. Lovely stories, lovely lessons on what friendship really means.

A Wrinkle in Time- Madeline L'Engle Love, love, love this story of the Murray children's adventure! I read the continuing stories but there's just something about this one that I cling to. Maybe remembering the awe I felt for the world the Murrays encountered, the grave responsibility they held, and my all-consuming wish to be more like Meg. Oh, and did you know I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. L'Engle herself?

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction
Going to the Classics
Best Book Series
Childhood Faves (today)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite childhood books?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

Sunday Sentiments: Church Rut

2011-05-29T13:03:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

I tweeted this morning: "God and I are cool but I'm definitely in a 'not going to church' rut."

I went to bed last night fully intending that I would go. I tossed and turned, restless sleep. And when it was almost 7, I knew with assurance that I did not want to, nor could I go.

I love the worship and sermons at my church but I have not found true fellowship there yet. No one knows if I miss. I have no husband or kids motivating me out the door.

Sometimes I'll go Saturday night because I do enjoy having lazy Sunday mornings to read the newspaper and drink my Irish Breakfast tea. And sometimes I just wish that I had someone to sit with, so I'll attempt to go to the 8 am service when I can sit with my best friend and her family.

I was at a different church a few weeks ago while out of town and found myself distracted. The worship time was a show, the sermon difficult to follow and surface level only. It reminded me of my uneasy truce with church attendance. It's not that we should go to church because of what we get out of it, though certainly there should be some sort of challenge and growth as a result. But we also shouldn't go out of a legalistic sense of duty.

It seems like for every 3 or 4 weeks that I attend church, there's a couple of weeks of absence. I wonder sometimes if I don't go to church because I can choose not to go. I didn't go last week or this weekend but I'll be back next week because this has been my trend the last few years.

Apparently I'm not the only one that feels this way. As I told a friend, I'm not sure why it happens, if it's me or if it's church itself or The Church.

Is it a bad trend? I'm not sure. As my friend MK reminded me, maybe God is telling me to simply be still before Him and to listen.

Communion with God occurs in unexpected places. Today I am going to be still and I am going to listen.

How do you feel about church attendance? Have you ever fallen into a rut? And if not, what's your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream?

Awkwardness in Aisle Eleven and a New Writing Opportunity

2011-05-27T13:28:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, I learned about a new site The Well Written Woman from my blog friend Alise. When I told Alise that it sounded interesting, she advised me to send them a pitch. At first, I balked. Who, me? Then I gathered courage and did just that. Marvel of marvels, I am now one of their regular contributors! Once a month I'll represent single ladies or talk about grief, loss, and end of life issues. My first piece for Well Written Woman is up today.

They say that grocery stores are a good place to meet Mr. Right. Ah, the all-knowing, all-wise They. I've read numerous articles in which single women are encouraged to strike up conversations with said cute guy about how ripe the melons are or which vegetable is their favorite.

I always roll my eyes when I read this. First, the suggested conversation starters end up sounding so, oh, I don't know, dirty. Let me get this straight. You want me to go up to some random guy and ask him how ripe a melon is? And you think he's going to take that question- and me- seriously? Double entendres don't appear to be the best way to meet my future husband...

Click here to read about my flirting trials and tribulations at the grocery store. Spoiler alert: it doesn't go well. And, if you wouldn't mind, leave a comment on the site so that Cam and Lauren know they made a good decision in having me come aboard!

#30: Go to Arrington Vineyards

2011-05-26T09:30:00.003-05:00

It seemed appropriate to celebrate my first year in Nashville by also crossing off another item from my 32 Things.

I'd heard much about Arrington Vineyards. It's hard to pass up on opportunity to spend time on beautiful land, complimented by a free wine tasting. It was rather last minute but luckily I have spontaneous friends!

There was a bit of a wait before we could have our tasting so we bought a bottle of red and headed out to sit by the picnic tables. We'd just about settled when it began to rain. And then pour.

We huddled under an awning, befriending people around us and continuing to sip our wine until the storm cleared. One man may have detected that he was surrounded by Midwestern gals, plus Elizabeth, our token Southerner. I can't win with my accent these days! I sound "too Chicago" for the South but whenever I go home, everyone makes fun of my newfound drawl. I'm a MidSouthern hybrid.

With Elizabeth and Rachel

Janell and Casi

Finally our tasting began. Arrington offers about a 1 oz. sample of 4 wines. The steward was cute and generous, offering an extra wine to sample. I loved the wines I tried but it's the smallest tasting I've ever had. But free is free and I shall not complain!

Something about holding a wine glass makes me feel more cultured and intelligent. Or at least look the part.

Casi, Janell, Elizabeth, me, Shannon, and Rachel having fun

After the tasting, Elizabeth, Tracy, and I headed over to Shannon's family farm for an amazing dinner spread. I love spending time on farms, mostly because if reminds me of my grandparents' farm. Open land, crops, various animals. I'm very much a suburban girl but the country speaks to me of comfort and refreshment.

Tracy, resident best friend and woman extraordinaire

Shannon and Elizabeth: my "favorite" coworkers

I ate to my heart's content, as we laughed and talked the night away.

It was relaxing to spend time at the vineyard. But the best part of this day? Looking at my friends and realizing how blessed I am. While I've known Tracy half my life and knew Casi from back home, the rest of these friendships have grown over the past year. These ladies are keepers.

Do you prefer red or white? Do you have a vineyard or winery near you?

Best Book Series (Book Nerds Unite)

2011-05-25T08:11:00.100-05:00

Which is better? Discovering a new author, by which you can tear through their backlist or discovering a new series and tearing through without having to wait for each. successive. book. to. come. out?

Both options are pretty grand but there's something about the instant gratification of a newly found series that gets me every time. Mind that my favorite series listed below were sometimes discovered after the final book was written and sometimes after the first one or two. There's something to be said about the agony of waiting for each installment, talking about it with other friends and book lovers. It's like a secret club.

#BookNerdsUnite continues with my picks for Best Book Series:

Anne of Green Gables- L.M. Montgomery Who doesn't root for the red haired orphan as she wins over the Cuthberts and, even better, Gilbert Blythe? Oh for some raspberry cordial! I loved all the books but the movies are especially sigh-worthy. Did anyone else watch them as much as me?

The Boxcar Children- Gertrude Chandler Warner This series was so special to me growing up. The idea of siblings that were so close, who banded together and did what they could to survive. And then it has a happy ending! Great to read to kids.

The Chronicles of Narnia- C.S. Lewis I just love Aslan. It's hard to pick a favorite from the series, though Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe stands out, as does The Last Battle. Lewis paints such amazing tales. Good to read when I was a child and even better as a grown up.

Christy Miller and Sierra Jensen- Robin Jones Gunn I started reading Christy's books when we were around the same age and then continued on with Sierra's stories. Great teen Christian characters that I could relate to. I read a few of them for kicks a couple of years ago and I still liked them!

Harry Potter- J.K. Rowling I did my best to resist reading these books despite mulitple recommendations- I knew I would get sucked in. And I did. I caught up just as the final book was released. Rowling powerfully wrapped up the series. And yes, it did make me cry.

The Hunger Games trilogy- Suzanne Collins Another series I was sure I wouldn't be interested in. It sounded too sci-fi and gruesome. At a friend's insistence, I borrowed the first book while I was at a conference. I was so captivated by Katniss's plight that I would sneak a few pages at every session break. I was obsessed! Totally Team Peeta, for those that are interested.

Outlander Series- Diana Gabaldon: A friend lent me the first book in this series for my birthday. Definitely a gift that kept giving. The tale of time-traveling World War II era Claire and 1740s Scot Jamie is obsession-worthy. The books are very saucy at times and Gabaldon does not spare her reader from the blood and guts associated with battle wounds and disease. She does an impressive amount of research for each book (generally 600-900 pages long apiece); Gabaldon takes us from the Scottish Uprising of 1745 through Revolutionary War America. After book 3 I started pacing myself because I wasn't ready for the series to be over. Seven books have been released but now Outlander fans must wait another couple of years before Jamie and Claire's story will continue.

Twilight- Stephenie Meyer I read all 4 books in a week and a half. I never thought I'd like a book about vampires but it truly is so much more than that. I could identify with some of Bella's hopes and fears and fell in love with Edward along the way. Let me be clear: my imagination is SO much better than anything those movies have come up with. The Edward in my mind is way hotter too.

Zion Covenant and Zion Chronicles series- Brock and Bodie Thoene Compelling fiction placed during WWII and its aftermath. I love this time period and the Thoenes give expert attention to historical detail.

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction
Going to the Classics
Best Book Series (today)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite series?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

I was a Senior Hottie (Class of 1998)

2011-05-24T12:00:00.003-05:00

My friend Liz at A Belle, a Bean, and a Chicago Dog is hosting an "I Was a Senior Hottie" link up from May 25-30. I can't pass up the opportunity to post potentially embarrassing pictures of myself and my friends. Of course, I'm joining in, albeit a day early.

You can too! Just post a picture from homecoming, prom, graduation, or whatever part of senior year you feel like sharing.

My style changed throughout high school. Freshman year was my grunge phase, thanks to Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Then I morphed back into hippie by sophomore year. The rest of high school was a blend of hippie, preppy, and T-shirts and jeans.

It was hard to select the best pictures so I'm giving y'all a sampling today. Here I am, in all my Class of 1998 glory. Interesting fact: I am 17 or 18 in all of these pictures and do not look it. I am 31 now and still don't look my age!

I look so wise and mysterious in my senior portrait. The photographer never told me to smile! He just took the serious yearbook pictures and then we were done. I remember Tracy and I went with our moms for make-up tips at the Clinique counter a few days before. I was never a big make-up person in high school, though I wanted to wear it so badly in junior high!

I loved Big Sweaters! They made me feel even smaller than I already was. I'm still a sweater fan but I try not to keep them as voluminous.

Hanging with my friends. I believe this is the night we first watched Dawson's Creek. I am so Team Pacey! Here we have a nice representation of 1990s style: overalls, big sweaters, oversized T-shirts.

Posing with my first car, a 1987 Chevy I bought for $500. It was a good A to B car. Note my jean shorts and casual blue sleeveless shirt, complimented by my sandals. I was all about casual this day.

I LOVED my prom dress! Senior prom was the second high school dance I went to and this dress made it seem magical. I loved the sequins on the top, the flowing material on the bottom. I finally donated it to Cinderella's Closet last year. Parting was such sweet sorrow.

Prom pictures with my best friends. Everyone wore long, formal dresses to prom. Unless you were a skank but I really don't remember anyone in a short dress. Annie's (in the white) dress was actually a wedding dress, making her the biggest spender of all of us.

Graduation day with Annie. We were all about the gold and blue. Go Falcons!

What was your high school fashion like?

Going to the Classics (Book Nerds Unite)

2011-05-23T08:31:00.115-05:00

As #BookNerdsUnite continues, you might be tempted to look at today's category and run in the opposite direction.

We might associate the classics with feelings of dread leftover from high school English. We may have plowed through some jewel of literature and found it utterly boring. Or worse, it might have made us fall asleep in the first chapter. I'm not saying I ever wrote a paper on The Brothers Karamazov without having finished reading it. And yes, I am saying I should give that particular one another try.

But I'd rather have my eyes plucked out before reading The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man again. Kill. me. now.

I'm sure I'm not alone here. While the bad ones stand out in our minds, it's important that we pay homage to the good ones. There's a reason the same books are hailed throughout the years- and it's not just so English majors can sound self-important as they discuss symbolism and the hidden meaning behind every nook and cranny.

I fully admit one man's literary trash is another man's literary treasure. Either way, classics still speak to us today.

I'm sure I'm forgetting many but here are my favorite classics:

The Catcher in the Rye- J.D. Salinger The best book I read in 1997. Eye opening.

East of Eden- John Steinbeck Another Book Club read. The first 100 pages were torturously slow but my perseverance paid off.

A Farewell to Arms- Ernest Hemingway A love story set during the Great War, Hemingway does not offer easy answers or happy endings. It's Papa's way or the highway.

The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald Loved everything about this, from the 1920s setting to our narrator who navigates the world of his opulent neighbors.

Hamlet- Shakespeare We memorized the "to be or not to be" speech in senior year English and it has stuck with me. You just can't go wrong with Shakespeare!

Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte This Gothic romance had me enthralled with the brooding Mr. Rochester. I could not wait to find out what mysteries the house held for our heroine.

Les Miserables- Victor Hugo Whether you're familiar with the musical or not, you can't go wrong with this tale of redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Oh, Valjean.

Native Son- Richard Wright Bigger is held captive not only by his actions but the social and racial atmosphere of his time. Now that I reflect on it, I'm impressed that this was another high school English read.

Ordinary People- Judith Guest Portrait of the aftermath of grief in an everyday family and the splinters it leaves.

Persuasion- Jane Austen This was the last Austen novel I read and it turned out to be my favorite! I loved seeing the characters' lives intersect and how a misplaced or purposeful word here and there could alter the course of their lives.

The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde I was first exposed to this in a high school art class. We watched the movie- because hello, the painting is a central character! I later read the book, really a chilling moral tale.

Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen Mr. Darcy, need I say more?

Romeo and Juliet- Shakespeare I'm a sucker for a tragic love story. It probably didn't help that shortly after I read it, the movie starring DiCaprio and Danes came out. Also, I like to regularly wish my loud neighbors "a plague on both your houses." Someday they'll regret their ways, I'm just sure of it.

A Tale of Two Cities- Charles Dickens Vive le France! Set during the French Revolution, Dickens paints a stark contrast between the haves and have nots.

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction
Going to the Classics (today)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite classics?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

One Year in Nashville

2011-05-22T10:10:00.000-05:00

Today marks the day. The anniversary of my Tennessean life.

Celebrating at Arrington Vineyard

I read words written just a few days after moving and then 6 months in. So much has changed in so many ways this past year.

I think about why I chose to move here and the reasons I've given people when they ask why. It was time for a change. I needed to learn to be more dependent on God. I was tired of Illinois winters.

This, all this, is change. Though I can't tell you the specifics right now, more change is coming. Just as my move to Tennessee was a litmus test, this will be too.

I did learn to be more dependent on God and continue to do so. Everything that happened in the final days before my move was affirmation that Nashville was where I was supposed to be. While nothing turned out the way I thought it would, I still know that Nashville is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

What can I say about the weather here? I traded cold harsh winters for milder, very little snow ones. We may have more tornado warnings here but it's a fair trade.

Best of all, the friendships. Living in the same town as my best friend once again. The excitement in her daughter's voice when she sees me, shrieking "Leigh, Leigh!" which sounds more like "Whee! Whee!" Leigh=Fun. I like it.

Connecting with fellow Midwestern transplants and Southern mainstays. Finding my second home in Alabama. Growing my blog and finding new writing opportunities.

I have had to confront my weaknesses and leftover demons. My character has grown as I have forced myself to be vulnerable, something that doesn't come naturally to this Listener Counselor. I've had to face hard truths about my identity and work's role in my life, as I find myself becoming more of an introvert the longer I stay in social work.

I miss living by my family. I've hated missing out on annual gatherings, whether the 4th of July parade or the Pitchfork Music Festival. I don't like that I'm not getting to watch my dear friends' children grow up, that I settle for seeing them whenever I happen to be in town. I miss Caribou, Honey, and even Muldoons.

I've been able to go to amazing shows and discover new artists that I love. I've found new restaurants to haunt and coffee shops to frequent. I've tried to get used to buying wine from a liquor store instead of picking up a bottle when I get groceries. I've only been lost a few times and I still don't understand the highway system.

But I know that Nashville is my home.

I don't know what will come next or how God will move. I know this though. It's sure to be a wild ride!

#31: Sweet Second Home Alabama

2011-05-19T08:11:00.001-05:00

A couple of weekends ago when I met the one and only Mary Kathryn, I was able to cross off something else from my 32 Things list: Visit One Other Southern State.

When I was still an Illinoisan, I often went to Wisconsin or Indiana (well, really I'd drive through Indiana to get to the Warren Dunes in Michigan) for day or weekend trips. Easy, quick drives and a good way to get a change of scenery. I decided when I made my list that I needed to familiarize myself with the South. My past experience includes two trips to Florida, my 30th birthday in Asheville, and an interesting road trip to New Orleans so my friends and I could see Incubus perform. So really, I know nothing about the other Southern states.

I needed to find my Southern version of Wisconsin.

Kim and I first connected over books. She asked if we might read something together, a sort of virtual Book Club. We decided to read Blood Done Sign My Name, which MK happened to be finishing around the same time. Through email discussion, Kim mentioned the Civil Rights Museum that resides in Birmingham. Then she mentioned that Mary Kathryn would be visiting one weekend in May to help with a youth retreat.

That is when I shamelessly invited myself to be a part of the weekend so we could go to the Civil Rights Museum together.

As the weekend drew closer, I started to feel as though I should help out with the retreat, even though I didn't know anything about it. I emailed Kim and said I could drive down Saturday and be her pack mule. Then she emailed that she had hoped Mary Kathryn and I would facilitate some sort of painting activity Saturday morning. I can't pass up an opportunity involving paint! I decided to drive down Friday night instead.

I wasn't nervous about meeting my blog friends. I knew that I would like them in real life, just as I liked their bloggy beings. I was more nervous that they wouldn't like me. (Just when I think I've mastered an area of insecurity...)

I needn't have worried. The three of us connected right from the start.

I arrived just in time for worship and communion. Tired and loopy, I sat in the dark illuminated by votives and observed these kids flat out worshiping their Savior. I don't remember having that depth when I was their age. Feeling depleted as I was by the past few weeks, I wasn't sure whether I had that depth now or if I could be of use to anyone.

The teens were encouraged to talk to a leader during worship and as I was a pseudo-leader, one girl approached me for a word of encouragement. When she first started talking, my mind was blank. I'm trained to counsel but I felt so unqualified in that moment of spiritual import. What did I have to offer her? Yet as we talked, God provided the words and she did seem to walk away encouraged.

These moments occurred throughout the weekend.

Whether I was facilitating the painting of two large canvases, eating a meal, or sitting on a couch, connections continued. Maybe I was there to lead and help, but I felt I learned more than I taught.

I learned that I still love to counsel and listen and that I probably love it best when I'm not being paid to do so.

I learned more about my identity, not in what I do but who God created me to be.

I learned that I need to let my past church issues stay in the past. They no longer define me and I might miss out on the good that God is doing by letting innocuous things trigger old memories.

I learned that Mary Kathryn and Kim are beautiful, wonderful women who God undoubtedly placed in my life. Words fail me to express my gratitude for their friendship and encouragement. We have so much more of our stories to share. We never did make it to the Civil Rights Museum so you know what that means!

I learned that "y'all come" is an open invitation, which I have now earned to Kim's home and family. I valued getting to know her husband and children and only wish I'd had more time to chat with them.

I learned that Alabama is my new Wisconsin and I'm already plotting how I can get back for another trip.

How many Southern states have you visited? Which one is your favorite?

Leigh's Favorite Christian Nonfiction

2011-05-18T08:01:00.149-05:00

General Market nonfiction has taught me a lot but when I think of life-changing nonfiction, Christian nonfiction has the bigger market share.

I've highlighted and scribbled my way through my favorites listed below. I turn to them time and time again for encouragement, for a challenge, for a reminder of what faith is all about. These books have helped me grow in my faith- a couple even helped me embrace it.

There can be a temptation to base faith on these books or what a certain author tells us to believe. However, books on Christian Living were never meant to replace the Bible. They serve to point us to God. When we read, we should be able to back it up against scripture. If we can't, it's time to set the book aside and move on.

My favorite Christian nonfiction books:
The Beautiful Ache- Leigh McLeroy The subtitle is Finding the God Who Satisfies When Life Does Not. This author has a great first name. But she also has a great way of exploring the tension between the imperfections of earth and the perfection awaiting us in heaven.

Bittersweet- Shauna Niequist The full review. I've since bought copies for friends. I love her words.

The Call- Os Guinness Helpful devotional on finding our true purpose.

The Celebration of Discipline- Richard Foster A wonderful explanation of the spiritual disciplines that gets at the spirit behind the practices without becoming a list of rules.

Crazy Love and Forgotten God- Francis Chan Crazy Love inspired my decision to take a leap of faith and move to Nashville. Forgotten God solidified my desire to pray crazy, courageous prayers and see how He will use them.

The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective- Richard Rohr I'm grateful to my dear friend The Gat for recommending this to me. It's more than self-analysis. The Enneagram has a way of moving past ourselves and to the heart of the matter. What makes me tick? What are my tendencies? Does this sound familiar? I recently posted a series about the good and the bad of being a 4 and what the Enneagram is all about.

Evolving in Monkey Town- Rachel Held Evans In so many ways, I feel Evans' story is my story, from our shared childhood eczema to wrestling with faith. We came up with a few different conclusions but overall I appreciate this memoir and exploration.

God's Politics- Jim Wallis The message behind this book was my saving grace during the 2004 election: "God is not a Republican...or a Democrat." While there's much more dialog on the relationship between faith and politics now, I haven't forgotten the people who told me I was not a real Christian unless I voted for George W. Bush. It was refreshing to find other Christians with a similar point of view. Wallis explores the Christian response on a range of issues, catering to neither side of the political spectrum. It's challenging and thought-provoking, whether you agree with him or not. I was able to hear Wallis speak a couple of years ago, which was amazing.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years- Don Miller A few thoughts here. Simply inspiring from start to finish.

A New Kind of Christian- Brian McLaren An author that explores Christianity outside of the box. After reading this in college, I finally felt ready to take back my abandoned faith and wrestle with God a bit. It was refreshing to see that there were others out there like me who didn't quite fit into the conservative church we had grown up in.

Radical- David Platt What more can I say about this book? My thoughts from the Read-Along: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Revelations of a Single Woman- Connally Gilliam Without a doubt, the most honest book I've read exploring singleness. Gilliam's book is easy to relate to and she addresses subject matter that is typically taboo in Christian circles. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is single and wants to be engaged in their faith in this season of life.

Sacred Thirst- M. Craig Barnes I often reference Barnes' words here. I go back to this book whenever I am in need of refreshment.

The School of Dying Graces- Richard Felix I read a few books on loss after Grandma died in 2007 but none spoke to me as much as Felix's experience through his wife's battle with cancer. His examination of the gifts we gain from persevering through suffering was both inspirational and encouraging.

Singled Out- Christine Colon and Bonnie Field A fantastic look at the relationship between celibacy and the church. Whether you're married or single, it's worth reading just for the history alone. I wrote part 1 of a review but part 2 is still to come.

Traveling Light- Max Lucado I started reading this book on the 23rd Psalm to see if it was appropriate to give to a friend who was struggling with loss. He had unique insights on the familiar verses. It really struck home though when my 22 year old cousin Scott died while I was in the middle of the book. My aunt and uncle chose that same Psalm to be read at his funeral. The words were more comforting because of what I had read in Traveling Light.
Traveling Mercies- Anne Lamott Lamott's writing is not for the faint of heart. She is irreverent while being reverent. Her story of conversion does not fall into the nice cookie cutter shape of other conversion stories. Yet. She is dynamic, and she is honest about her issues. This is a beautiful exploration of faith.

A Walk with Jane Austen- Lori Smith Yes, I love Jane Austen but that's not why this book is dear to me. Smith's account of her travels in England retracing Austen's steps directly impacted her faith and her experience as a Christian single. I couldn't help but resonate with her experience and it definitely made me want to go to England as soon as possible.

Welcoming the Stranger- Matthew Soerens and Jenny Hwang I'd never looked in depth at the issue of immigration before, much less discerned what a biblical response might be. I feel much more informed now. The book has a great many insights and the authors are skillful in examining all sides of the controversial matter. My friend David posted a 2 part interview with Jenny Hwang on his blog, here and here.

What's So Amazing About Grace?- Philip Yancey Yancey makes the concept of grace easier to grasp with a fresh understanding of God's gift to us.

When the Heart Waits- Sue Monk Kidd Encouraging words for times of growth, waiting, and despair. I read Kidd's words and thought, "you too? Me too!" Kidd writes from a place of part mentor, part sojourner.

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction (today)
Going to the Classics (5/23)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite Christian nonfiction books?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

Nonfiction I'm Still Talking About

2011-05-16T08:11:00.000-05:00

#BookNerdsUnite continues with my favorite general market nonfiction. I read way more fiction than nonfiction but I am equal opportunity when it comes to books. I usually have two to three books going at a time.

Lately I've tried to be more intentional about my nonfiction reading habits. I'm adding more biographies to my To Read list and I'm seeking out topics beyond my latest research obsession.

Here are the Nonfiction Titles that I'm Still Talking About:
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle- Barbara Kingsolver Kingsolver and her family documented a year of deliberately eating food that was produced where they lived. The book is chock full of information on processed food, farmer's markets, and more, as well as delicious recipes. It definitely made me reassess where my food comes from and I've been trying to change my food consumption and purchasing habits ever since.

The Audacity of Hope- Barack Obama I've been an Obama fan from the beginning. I love his idealism and I loved the way his spirit and dedication showed through here. His presidency may not be perfect but I'm still saying Yes We Can.

Bird by Bird- Anne Lamott I cannot sing Lamott's praises often enough. If you've ever thought of writing, you simply must read Bird by Bird.

Bringing Home the Birkin- Michael Tonello Enjoyable inside look at one man's quest for fashion's Holy Grail: the Birkin bag.

Freakonomics and SuperFreakonomics- Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner Levitt and Dubner manage to make economics not only interesting but relevant. With chapters titled "Why should suicide bombers buy life insurance?", how can you go wrong?

French Women Don't Get Fat- Mireille Guiliano An important reminder to eat foods that are in season, savor smaller portions, and live a balanced life. Her recipe for ratatouille has become one of my summer favorites!

Generation Kill- Evan Wright Rolling Stones journalist Wright chronicled his experience as an embedded reporter with the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion‎ of the United States Marine Corps during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. It's a revealing behind-the-scenes look at the war while introducing us to the men fighting on our behalf. We are able to see the problems the men face, such as distinguishing civilians from the enemy, but also their strengths and camaraderie. The book has since been turned in to a series for HBO.

I Am America (And So Can You!)- Stephen Colbert If you're not a Colbert fan, you will not appreciate this book. Colbert's tongue-in-cheek conservative schtick is laugh out loud funny.

The Know-It-All and The Year of Living Biblically- AJ Jacobs- First of all, Jacobs is funny. Second of all, whether he's reading through the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica or taking a more literal approach to following the Bible, you can't help but learn all manner of things along the way.

My Jesus Year- Benyamin Cohen The son of a rabbi attends various Christian churches for a year. "Cohen sees the best and the worst of Christianity -- from megachurches to storefront churches; from crass commercialization of religion to the simple, moving faith of the humble believer; from the profound to the profane to the just plain laughable. Throughout, he keeps an open heart and mind, a good sense of humor, and takes what he learns from Christianity to reflect on his own faith and relationship to God." You'll laugh, you'll cringe, you'll ponder.

Now, Discover Your Strengths- Marcus Buckingham I first read this over a decade ago when I was working as an assistant manager at The Christian Bookstore. My top 5 strengths were Ideation, Input, Individualization, Learner, and Achiever. It pegged me accurately then and I wonder if I'd get the same results now that I'm not working retail anymore.

On Death and Dying- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross I would be a poor excuse for a former hospice social worker if I didn't reference Kubler-Ross's efforts. Even if end of life issues aren't your expertise, her work is definitely worth reading. We all face death, loss, and grief at some point.

Savage Inequalities- Jonathan Kozol I read this for a college sociology class and the accounts of economic disparity continue to haunt me. It is unconscionable that children do not have equal access to public education, even those living in the same city. And we wonder why impoverished children tend to make poor decisions past high school, if they even graduate in the first place...

The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry- Kathleen Flinn After learning she's been fired, Flinn decides to move to Paris and pursue her dream of a diploma from Le Cordon Bleu. Funny yet informative, Flinn includes many great recipes along the way.

Three Cups of Tea- Greg Mortenson Yes, there's a controversy about this book's accuracy and how Mortenson accounts for his work. However, this story is absolutely inspiring. He believes strongly that literacy and education, especially for girls, in the Middle East is the key to lasting change.

The Year of Magical Thinking- Joan Didion A powerful account of the author's grief after her husband John's sudden death from a heart attack. While this happened, their daughter Quintana was on life support. Didion gives us an unflinching look at grief and the things we tell ourselves during times of loss, the so-called "magical thinking."

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market) (today)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction (5/18)
Going to the Classics (5/23)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite nonfiction (general market) books?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

Sunday Sentiments: Two Roads Diverged

2011-05-15T09:30:00.004-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

I've come home for a few days, to regroup and to meet my newest niece-in-love. I couldn't help but reflect as I drove into town, how familiar my hometown is. Familiar roads, familiar faces. Even the chilly spring weather is familiar.

I don't need directions when I'm here. I haven't used these shortcuts in a year but I know them as if I'd used them yesterday. It was soothing and effortless to remember 294N connects with 88W and then I could shoot up 355N to connect with Roosevelt. Nashville's highways don't make any sense to me and I'm easily turned around. But here in Illinois I am master of this domain.

I cut through my parent's neighborhood, the one that gets everyone lost and calling frantically, "I've missed the house!" It feels nice to drive around and through, veering here and there.

And I remember why I left. Why it seemed important to free-fall for awhile into God's grace and to re-learn dependence. I approach one year in Nashville and I confidently say this was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Even though I don't know the shortcuts or always remember that Blakemore turns into Wedgewood. Even though I'm still making sense of this scene and developing friendships and figuring out what I want from this life.

All has not turned out the way I imagined it would. In fact, nothing has turned out the way I imagined it would and I'm OK with that.

Metaphor drips around me this trip home. Maybe it's inherent in any hometown reunion. Maybe it's because I recognize the similarities between then and now and decisions to be made.

I say all this because I'm about to take another leap of faith. It scares me yet, yet thrills me. Nothing is certain, yet I know I can't stand still.

I'm ready.

How do you feel when you go home? Are there any changes you need to make in your life? Do you have a favorite back road short cut?

Good Christian Fiction (it's not an oxymoron)

2011-05-13T08:11:00.001-05:00

...or is it?

Christian fiction gets a bad rap. And let's all be honest. It often deserves its poor reputation. My years working at The Christian Bookstore exposed me to an awful lot of drivel. On the positive side, I was just borrowing the books (store perk!) so at least I didn't waste any of my hard-earned money.

The vindictive part of me would like to list these groan-worthy books and authors. Then I remember that I'm writing a novel and I would be crushed if someone ever referred to my hard work as drivel. So I'll keep the snark to myself. However, if you were to email me for more specifics, I can't say that I wouldn't write you back with all the dirt.

There is good amongst the bad, however. Otherwise I wouldn't keep reading it!

Now let's move on. I have to say that there are Christian fiction authors I enjoy but I don't necessarily have favorite Christian fiction books. (This is probably why the Christian market isn't viewed as true competition in the literary world.)

Here are the books and authors that make the cut, in no particular order:
Flabbergasted- Ray Blackston Laugh out loud funny! If you are single, male or female, I dare you not to relate to Jay, our main character who takes to church to find the girl of his dreams. Blackston is an awesome, friendly author- we emailed a bit after this book came out. He has a fresh voice. The two sequels were also enjoyable but Flabbergasted remains my favorite.

Tamara Leigh- I like Leigh's version of Christian chick lit. They're easy, engaging reads that keep me laughing and commiserating. Perfecting Kate was the first of hers that I read.

Silence- Shusaku Endo I wouldn't say this is Christian fiction but the spiritual themes are too overt to put it in my general fiction list. I read this for Book Club and we had a very thought-provoking discussion about apostasy and what might cause us to deny our faith.

The Shape of Mercy- Susan Meissner I absolutely loved this book! Full review here. I haven't had a chance to read anything else by Meissner but I have high hopes based on The Shape of Mercy.

Robin Jones Gunn- I have a long history of RJG, stemming from the Christy Miller series (more on this later) and leading up to her Glenbrooke novels and more. Whether it's a romance or a pair of sisters traveling the world, I'm guaranteed to enjoy Gunn's take.

The Cubicle Next Door and Moon Over Tokyo- Siri Mitchell I find Mitchell's contemporary characters more relatable than what else is out there, more like me and my friends. I haven't read her other work since she's now writing historical fiction, which is not really my cup of tea.

Just Between You and Me and Save the Date- Jenny B. Jones Again, relatable characters. It makes such a difference! They're not perfect, they're not cookie cutter Christians. There may be a happy ending but it also holds true to life.

Beth Pattillo- If you like anything related to Jane Austen, you should check out her updated tales. Start with Jane Austen Ruined My Life.

Lights of the Veil- Patty Metzer It's been an eon since I read this but I was so utterly captivated by the main character and her adventure across India. Think I'll be rereading it soon!

Thorn in my Heart- Liz Curtis Higgs This was my favorite of the Lowlands of Scotland Series. I enjoyed how Higgs interpreted the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel and then transported it to the Scottish highlands.

What a Girls Wants- Kristin Billerbeck Relatable, well-written Christian chick lit. The Ashley Stockingdale books are hilarious! You'll be asking yourself, are you a Season or a Reason?

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market)
Favorite Christian Fiction (today)
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market) (5/16)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction (5/18)
Going to the Classics (5/23)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite Christian fiction books? Do you think "good Christian fiction" is an oxymoron?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

#17:Mary Kathryn and I are Real Life Friends!

2011-05-12T08:11:00.033-05:00

When I added a meet and greet with Mary Kathryn to my list of 32 Things, I had no idea how or when it would happen. I only knew that we had connected via the blogosphere and that we could probably sit in a coffee shop and chat til we ran out of words.

Sometimes blog friends have a sense about real-life potential of our friendship.

This past weekend, Mary Kathryn and I traveled to Alabama to meet our other blog friend Kim to help with Kim's youth group retreat. I haven't quite figured out the words to describe what this weekend meant and what all happened. I'm so glad that I went. It might not be a stretch to say that it was life-changing in terms of the bonds created and the dreaming that occurred. More on this next week.

Mary Kathryn is even more wonderful than I thought she would be. She is beautiful inside and out. Plus, she is funny, wise, gracious, and ever so encouraging and talented. This girl is going places, you just watch.

Our first conversation went like this. We're sitting in the youth room, teens milling around us. We'd tweeted that afternoon with a couple of other friends about which Gilligan's Island character we would be. Naturally, as soon as we could talk freely, I asked MK why there were NO children on the 3 hour tour. Doesn't that seem unlikely? She agreed and wondered why the Howells were the only couple. Come on, Gilligan's Island writers. Do you expect us to believe that this crew just happened to be together and there were no families?

This illustrious discussion segued to Africa. And then I taught MK that South Africa is actually a country. Then we commenced to laugh forever and loudly.

These were lighthearted moments but we also had serious conversations. We all trusted one another with our stories, one of the greatest honors we can bestow upon anyone. Hopes, dreams, scars. We didn't cover it all, as the youth retreat was our primary focus. But it was just enough to know that Mary Kathryn is a keeper and this is not the end of our friendship.

Have you met any of your blog friends? Why or why not?

No Better Fiction Than This

2011-05-11T08:11:00.024-05:00

I'm excited to dive into this first category! Check here first to learn more about my love of books and the categories I'll be exploring in the coming weeks. I read way more fiction than nonfiction and have many opinions on what I read. For the most part though, I like to be entertained. I read a lot of "fluff" that fits the bill but is unlikely to make my list of faves. Hmm. Perhaps I should do a favorite fluff category too? Ooh! And a Guilty Pleasure category and a...

In any case, here are the general market fiction books that stand out in my mind as my favorites. The ones that I keep rereading and recommending to others. The ones that have moved or taught me. The ones that made me laugh or cry.

In alphabetical order:
Beach Music- Pat Conroy Tear jerker. Made me want to live in Italy in the worst way. This was the first of Conroy's I ever read and it still captivates me.

Black and Blue- Anna Quindlen Unflinching portrayal of domestic violence and the lengths a woman will go to in order to protect her son. A real page turner with an unsettling ending. Quindlen is a wonderful writer no matter which subject she tackles.

Bridget Jones' Diary- Helen Fielding Modern take on Pride and Prejudice, I related to Bridget's plights and her quest to find a man who would love her just the way she is. The movie and its sequel are great but you can't beat the book.

The Distant Hours- Kate Morton My words will not do justice to this sweeping Gothic-inspired mystery. It switches between WWII England and the 1990s but not in the typical fashion. The writing was beautiful, the plot fast-moving, the mystery unwinding to the very end. I loved getting to know Edie, her mother's secret, and the Sisters Blythe. Morton has written 2 other novels and I can't wait to tear into them!

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society- Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows -I resisted reading this for a long time but then a friend gave it to me for my birthday. It still took me 5 more months to crack it open but the moment I did, I was hooked. Correspondence during post-WWII England and Guernsey. As characters get to know each other by letter, we get to know them too and you can't help but root for each one.

The Help- Kathryn Stockett-I definitely fell into the camp of people that lurved this book. I was prepared not to as I typically dislike books that get a lot of hype but I was quickly drawn in by these characters. I couldn't help but picture each woman with her distinct voice and wonder whether the Southern society would cut them apart or bring them together. It also made me wonder how I would have really responded if I'd grown up during the Civil Rights era.

The Historian- Elizabeth Kostova I didn't intend to read a book about vampires but I was mesmerized by this account that traces the history of Dracula, leading our heroine to believe that he lives even today. The sociologist in me appreciated a good research project and what we can dig up when we search our past.

I Know This Much is True- Wally Lamb A brother watches over his twin who is schizophrenic and tries to keep his own life from falling to shambles. People tend to rave about Lamb's first work She's Come Undone, and not necessarily because it was in Oprah's Book Club, but to me, I Know This Much Is True is his finest work.

Juliet by Anne Fortier I savored this novel which wove between past and present, uncovering the lineage and true story of Juliet and her Romeo. There was mystery, suspense, and present day romance, all set in Italy. Absolutely magical.

Like Water for Chocolate- Laura Esquivel Loved the magical elements as well as the recipes in this tale of a Mexican family at the turn of the century.

The Magic Hour- Kristin Hannah I first thought of the movie Nell when I read this book's description. A feral, mute child is discovered. A child psychologist tries to help her and, in the process, forms an unlikely bond. It was the first time I read Kristin Hannah and she quickly became a favorite. Hannah excels at exploring female relationships and here we have sisters and foster mother-foster daughter.

My Sister's Keeper- Jodi Picoult I became an instant fan of Picoult after reading this and I raced through the rest of her books. While I haven't liked her more recent work, My Sister's Keeper remains compelling and thought provoking. Picoult writes about controversial subject matter, turns ethics on its head, and leaves you wanting more. When I read the last few pages of her books, I have to reread them a few times because the twist is so subtle, I'm sure that it can't be the actual ending.

The Poisonwood Bible- Barbara Kingsolver Set in 1950s Africa, this story focuses on a Baptist missionary family. It started out slow but then I was hooked. Kingsolver's characters have no easy answers and the reader is drawn in to their plight, wondering if this is a family that can be saved despite themselves. While there are certainly spiritual themes at work, I don't consider this to be Christian fiction, which is why Poisonwood Bible is presented here.

A Prayer for Owen Meany- John Irving If you ask me to name my #1 favorite book, A Prayer for Owen Meany has been my answer for well over a decade now. The rich characters, compelling plot, and spiritual undertones- I cry nearly everytime I read this wonderful novel. Hollywood tragically attempted to bring the story to the big screen with "Simon Birch" but there's no way to capture a character like Owen Meany outside of your imagination. Irving's other work can be hit or miss so if you've read something else and thought "meh," don't let it prevent you from reading this.

Special Topics in Calamity Physics Marisha Pessl You will need to talk to someone when you finish, so call me! Very unusual writing style and unique main character. Add a huge plot twist and you'll see why discussion is a must.

The Swan Thieves- Elizabeth Kostova After inhaling The Historian, I hoped that The Swan Thieves would have a similar effect and it did. Kostova is an author worth paying attention to. Art history, the confines of mental illness, the patient-psychiatrist relationship, and how a painting comes together...all melded together in a captivating way. I didn't want it to end.

The Thirteenth Tale- Diane Setterfield Simply fascinating from start to finish! The mystery kept me guessing the whole way through and when I finished I felt the need to go back through and figure out what clues I'd missed the first time around.

While My Sister Sleeps- Barbara Delinsky Molly always lived in the shadow of her older sister, Robin. Tragedy strikes when Robin is discovered unconscious on the roadside by another runner and then found to have had a massive heart attack and is now brain dead. Secrets are revealed and bonds are tested as the family grapples with difficult decisions and faces letting go. Delinsky deftly handles end of life issues.

White Oleander- Janet Fitch Infinitely better than the movie, a heartbreaking story.

Stay tuned for more reasons why Leigh Likes Books:

Favorite Fiction (General Market) (today)
Favorite Christian Fiction (5/13)
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market) (5/16)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction (5/18)
Going to the Classics (5/23)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite fiction (general market) books?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

For the Love of Books

2011-05-09T08:01:00.028-05:00

A couple of weeks ago AnnieBlogs wrote about her top 5 favorite books. No categories, no limitations.

It was so hard to choose just 5 that I broke it down by fiction and then nonfiction when I commented. But even that was difficult. My mind started envisioning all the book lists I could create.

Why not post these lists, I wondered. Why not, indeed? Over the next few weeks, HopefulLeigh is going to be all about the joys of reading. While I'm looking forward to writing about my favorite books, I'm even more interested in hearing from you! What do you like to read? What books have you *gasp* hated? (Hey, we all come across stinkers at times.) What books do you tell everyone and their mother about?

Favorite Fiction (General Market) (5/11)
Favorite Christian Fiction (5/13)
Favorite Nonfiction (General Market) (5/16)
Favorite Christian Nonfiction (5/18)
Going to the Classics (5/23)
Best Book Series (5/25)
Childhood Faves (5/30)
Books I Used to Like that Now Make Me Cringe (6/1)

Don't worry, I'll try to slip in a non-book-related post or two in there for those of you who are not as enamored with books as I am.

If you'd like, feel free to write posts according to these categories, giving credit to HopefulLeigh, of course. I won't host a link-up but I'd love it if you posted your list or a link to your own post in the comments.

Tell me truly. Who's the bigger book nerd- me or you?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2011-05-08T08:11:00.000-05:00

My mother is beautiful inside and out. She is by far my biggest cheerleader, yet she is naturally encouraging to everyone she meets. In fact, were you to meet her at the grocery store, you might find yourself spilling out your life story and walking away with a better sense of self, purpose, and who God created you to be. Does this sound like anyone you know? (I like to say my mom is the friendlier version of me.)

My mom exudes faith. Her relationship with God is the most important thing. This has set a wonderful example for me and my brother. If Mom says she's praying for you, then you know that she is. I hope someday to be at least half the woman she is.

This is the first Mother's Day since college that I will not be with Mom. Living in another state has made me appreciate who she is even more. I was lucky to live close to my parents the last several years and was spoiled to just pop in their house whenever I wanted. Visits home mean more now, as I prioritize who to see and when.

This will be Mom's 4th Mother's Day without her mom. I know there are many for whom this day is bittersweet, whether you've lost your mom or whether you're waiting and hoping to become a mother yourself.

I am blessed to be my mother's daughter and my grandmother's granddaughter. I hope that someday I'll experience the blessing of being some little person's mother. Until then, I celebrate the love I have in my life.

Mom, thank you for all you do. I love you more than words can say!

Lemon Thyme Chicken

2011-05-05T08:11:00.001-05:00

Have you ever noticed that Publix includes recipes in some of their weekly fliers? Every so often one will catch my eye. Lemon Thyme Chicken was one such recipe.

As I decided to stay home on Easter instead of joining my best friend's in-laws for fondue, I decided this recipe would be the perfect meal. It looked easy and I was intrigued by the side item: Sauteed Squash Ribbons.

In true Leigh Kramer fashion, the recipe was slightly adapted along the way. Instead of buying Pinot Grigio to cook with, I bought Pinot Noir. The summer squash looked puny so I decided to only use zucchini. Other than that, my dinner was a big hit. I've raved about it to anyone and everyone this past week.

Lemon Thyme Chicken
3/4 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/2 t. kosher salt
1/4 t. pepper
1 T canola oil
2 T lemon juice
3/4 c. white wine
14 oz. can Chicken Broth
8-10 whole sprigs fresh thyme
4-6 whole sprigs fresh oregano
1 T cornstarch
2 T water

1. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Add oil to large saute pan, on medium-high heat. Cook the chicken for 2-3 minutes on each side or until lightly browned.
2. Stir in lemon juice, wine, broth, thyme, and oregano. Cover and cook for 8-10 minutes. It says to turn the chicken occasionally but I skipped that step. It seemed superfluous. Remove the chicken from the pan. Discard thyme and oregano.
3. Combine cornstarch and water until smooth. Pour into pan and bring to a boil. Cook and stir 2-3 minutes or until thickened. Slice the chicken, top with the sauce, which is really more like a glaze. Serve and enjoy!

Sauteed Squash Ribbons
1-2 medium zucchini
2-3 medium yellow squash
1 T unsalted butter
1/2 t. minced garlic (I used powdered garlic instead)
1/2 t. kosher salt
1/8 t. pepper

1. Using a vegetable peeler, cut zucchini and squash thinly (aka ribbons) down the length of the squash, until reaching the seeds. Rotate squash and continue cutting ribbons until only seeds remain.
2. Using large saute pan, add butter and then garlic. Cook and stir 2-3 minutes or until softened.

3. Add squash ribbons, salt, and pepper. Cook and stir 3-4 minutes or just until tender. Serve and enjoy!

This chicken was fully cooked. It looks pinkish because of the Pinot Noir.

You can also see how thin the sauce is.

I can tell this will be a go-to summer meal. The chicken was great but the zucchini ribbons were the true star of the meal.

How do you feel about squash?

Of All the Bad Boys I've Loved Before...

2011-05-03T08:01:00.004-05:00

I have a long and sordid history of mooning over bad boys. In no particular order, I present to you my Top 10 Bad Boy Crushes. Mind you, these are fictional characters. Don't even get me started on musicians- my true weakness. And I'd rather not go into the details of my real life bad boy crushes. At least not here. Over a glass of wine perhaps?

1. Dylan McKay- Ah, Dylan with his Daddy issues, alcoholism, and brooding good looks. I was helpless the moment I saw his sideburns and piercing stare. I loved his transformation as he became a better man while dating Brenda. I was disappointed but not surprised when he cheated on Brenda with Kelly- and strangely preferred Dylan-Kelly to Dylan-Brenda. I wasn't allowed to watch Beverly Hills, 90210 while I was in high school. I did, however, sneak episodes when I babysat- after the kids were asleep, of course! Then I watched unashamedly in college.

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2. Jordan Catalano- It doesn't get much better than the angsty My So-Called Life. Who didn't relate to Angela and her friends? Who could resist the way Jared Leto brought Jordan's character to life? Who didn't want to run their fingers through his hair? Oh, was that just me? (Incidentally, I didn't start listening to 30 Seconds to Mars just because Leto is the lead singer but it sure didn't hurt. That band is obsession-worthy in my book.) On the bad boy front, Jordan is failing his classes but that turns out to be due to an undiagnosed learning disorder. He'll sleep with random girls yet there's something about Angela, our Every Girl, that he can't resist. Finally, he's in a band. Enough said. I can't help but wonder if his musician character paved the way for his real life music...

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3. Troy Dyer- I mentioned yesterday that I have Reality Bites almost entirely memorized. That should clue you in to how I feel about Troy, even if he's "a total nightmare for women." He's a slacker who justified stealing a Snickers bar at his last job, presently unemployed but feels fine about blowing off job interviews. He hooks up with ladies in a classic love 'em and leave 'em kind of way. When he and Leilana finally sleep together, he freaks out because he can't handle his feelings and ditches her too. The nerve! But here's what we appreciate about Troy. He's the lead singer in a band. He's hot. He's both intellectual and philosophical. His hilarious one-liners, like "I'm just bursting with fruit flavor." And of course, he wises up by the end of the movie and wins Leilana's heart back. Swoon!

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4. John Bender- Also known as The Criminal in The Breakfast Club. I may be the only one who found Judd Nelson's character so compelling. He is, shall we say, smoldering. All right, so he has pot in his locker. And yes, he's the only one of those kids you'd expect to find in detention. But we also find out he has an abusive alcoholic father who burned his cigar into John's forearm. He also gives love a chance with Molly Ringwald's character in the end. So let's all just be a little more understanding, mmkay?

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5. Pacey Witter- I still remember the first time I watched Dawson's Creek. I was in the basement at my best friend Erin's house, surrounded by several other pals during senior year. It was a fun girls night in which we ate lots of junk food and watched Say Anything. We all loved Dawson's Creek instantaneously. Was it always appropriate for 17-18 year olds to watch? Meh. Who can talk about appropriateness when Pacey is involved? Pacey, always the underdog. A troubled student. His family refers to him as their great disappointment. He never could measure up. Oh, and then he hooked up with one of his teachers. But...it turns out Pacey is quite smart and endearing. I loved his razor-sharp wit and ability to banter. He became a better man after dating Meredith and finally Joey. I was Team Pacey all the way.

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6. Jess Mariano- I really miss Gilmore Girls. The trials and triumphs of Lorelai and her daughter Rory, the witty dialog, the pop-culture references. What's not to love? It was already great and then Luke's wayward nephew Jess stepped onto the scene. A motorcycle aficionado, Jess was incredibly brilliant and well-read yet a slacker of a student. He smokes, he rebels, he's such a bad kid his mom had to send him to Stars Hollow in the hope that he'd straighten out. The banter between Jess and Rory was spark-worthy. That Rory left her good girl ways behind and fell for Jess? Surprising and yet completely understandable.

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7. James "Sawyer" Ford- If you watched LOST and you're a female over age 13, chances are you either rooted for Jack or for Sawyer. I was helpless against Sawyer's Southern charm, affinity for bestowing nicknames, sharp wit, and killer eyes. I may or may not have wanted to run my fingers through his hair. Sure he's a con man and he doesn't mind using rich ladies to get to their money. However, when we take a glimpse into his past, it's a wonder he didn't turn out worse. Sawyer grows up a lot during his time on the island. By the end, we see who he truly is and how much he cares for those he love.

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8. Damon Salvatore- The Vampire Diaries' Damon is bad right from the start. It's not enough that he's a vampire. He's a vampire that relishes in killing and using others. He feuds with his brother Stefan, who happens to be a good vampire, over Katherine, the woman they both used to love. Wait- are you confused yet? It's Damon's relationship with his brother's current girlfriend Elena that's most telling. Damon, for the most part, respects her boundaries. He'll do anything to protect her, even though he initially said he didn't care about anyone or anything. He has depth. Did I mention he has that whole tall, dark, and handsome thing covered?

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9. Dominic Toretto- Muscles and tattoos and bald head, oh my! Say what you will about The Fast and the Furious franchise, Vin Diesel's acting abilities, and whether cars could do those crazy stunts in real life. There's just something about Dom that won't let me go. Dom's the leader of a street gang that may or may not be heisting goods. Hardened criminal on one hand yet fiercely loyal to his sister and friends on the other hand. Let's not even talk about the romantic scene with his girlfriend in his shop.

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10. Roux- Johnny Depp has many bad boy roles to choose from but I like his gypsy character from Chocolat most of all. Maybe because I find the gypsy life to be intriguing and adventurous, yet dangerous. Maybe because Roux opens Vianne's eyes to what's missing in her life and connects with her young daughter. Maybe because of his sexy, soulful gaze. Roux is not the most stable guy- gypsies are known for their roving ways. The town automatically hates him and his people. Yet we find gypsies are a misunderstood people. They know how to celebrate life, which is why Vianne is drawn to him. Plus, he plays a mean guitar.

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Who are your favorite bad boys? What do you think about this list?

In Search of a Good Bad Boy

2011-05-02T08:11:00.005-05:00

It started out simply enough. Doesn't it always?

The other night my pal Suzannah tweeted that she was watching Gossip Girl, her guilty pleasure. I helpfully commented back that there was no shame in that, adding that my guilty pleasures were certain Real Housewives shows and The Vampire Diaries.

Our conversation then evolved to our appreciation of old WB shows. Of course, I had to mention Dawson's Creek. Which led to expressing our mutual love of Pacey, at which point Mary Kathryn chimed in. Not only did she love Pacey, she added Jordan Catalano into the mix. Jordan Catalano, be still my heart. Whenever I watched My So-Called Life, I wished I were Angela just so I could be near Jordan and watch him "lean."

And then Suzannah uttered these fateful words. "Did you also love Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites?" Not only do I love Ethan in that movie, I practically have the whole thing memorized. I even used Ethan/Troy's answering machine message as my own for awhile. "At the beep, please leave your name, number, and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma, and we'll get back to you." I really pity the people who called me back then.

The beauty of Twitter is when other friends join the conversation. Our friend Heatherly could not resist dear Ethan Hawke. We began rhapsodizing about Reality Bites and our love of bad boys.

It all got me thinking. What is the allure of the bad boy?

Not just any bad boy will do. We all have parameters. Some things will not be tolerated. For instance, I prefer that my bad boy crushes not be fresh out of prison or have a drug problem. It should go without saying that murderers, rapists, and pedophiles need not apply. Nor abusers of any kind, for that matter.

It must come down to this. We have to see a bad boy's redeeming qualities. They might have a softer side reserved for those closest to them. They might rescue puppies in their spare time, serenade by guitar, or know how to defuse a bomb. There must be something that speaks of goodness in spite of an exterior that screams danger. Or you know, they're just really hot.

Do we like the challenge of reforming a bad boy? Or is it the thrill of living life closer to the edge? Bad boys certainly are not staid and predictable.

I've had a thing for bad boys for years. (Come back tomorrow for more on this Hot Topic.) Interestingly, I have never dated any. Making out was fine and dandy, ahem. But something in me whispered that things would not end well if I went down that road. So I didn't. It has impacted what I look for in a man, however.

I want a good, solid guy but he has to have an edge. He must love Jesus, first and foremost. There aren't hard and fast rules as to what constitutes as said edge. But a tattoo (or three), owning a motorcycle, and a hard rock music obsession? Well, it's a nice start. Add my need for banter and it seems only a bad boy would rise to the challenge.

How do you feel about bad boys? Can a bad boy be rehabilitated? Did you watch My So-Called Life?

Sunday Sentiments: What Is True Obedience?

2011-05-01T10:28:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

We've all heard these stories. Person A worries and frets and tries to do something in their own strength, then finally lays it all aside. God then swoops in and blesses their socks off. Or Person B chucks their business career, answers God's calling, and goes into ministry. Their ministry then soars into the skies as God blesses them in big, huge ways.

But what about Person C who patiently waits and continues to obey? And there's no blessing? They strive to be content with what they lack but God's answer continues to be "wait" or maybe even "no"?

What is the difference? Why is Person C made to feel they're not truly obedient/waiting/content since they don't have the blessing to show for it?

Why is our perspective so skewed?

I've been frustrated by this response for so long and it's been coming to a boil lately. An interesting conversation occurred over in the comments at Melissa Brotherton's blog the other day. The teaching that God will give us the desires of our hearts that is often applied as a panacea. The truth is if it's just my desires, my wishes that are on the line, they might not be realized but this does not make my desires- or God, for that matter- good or bad. If my heart is in line with God, then I will desire what He desires and will grow in contentment as a result. It's not about me any longer.

Laura Parker's husband articulates this so much better than I ever could.

And the assumed conclusion... and one which typically flies past unnoticed by my sometimes-naive view of practical theology –
If you follow and obey God, it will always work out for you.
And then, my other-side-of-the-coin-husband dropped the zinger that made me look through prosperity to see more gospel-truth. He said, simply–
If you follow and obey God, it will always work out for God. There’s no promise about it working out for you.

There's no promise it will work out for us. But if the blessing is our motivation for what we do, if obedience comes from anywhere other than a place of love for God, we have completely missed the point.

Do you need these words today? What blessings are you waiting to receive? Will you still obey if you never receive them?

April Somethings

2011-04-29T08:11:00.001-05:00

Ah, April, you were good to me...

I Read: I reviewed a few books for the various book blogger programs I'm in. (Side note: do my book reviews annoy anyone? I'm trying not to do too many at a time but this month there were date-specific reviews.) Of those, I most enjoyed Here Burns My Candle.

However, the book I'm most enthralled by is The Distant Hours (Kate Morton.) My words will not do justice to this sweeping Gothic-inspired mystery. It switches between past and present but not in the typical fashion. The writing was beautiful, the plot fast-moving, the mystery unwinding to the very end. I loved getting to know Edie, her mother's secret, and the Sisters Blythe. Morton has written 2 other novels and I can't wait to tear into them! First, I'm going to buy a copy of The Distant Hours. It is ownable and a definite candidate for a spot on my list of Favorite Books.

Speaking of which, AnnieBlogs asked her readers to list their top 5 books across any and all categories. There are few things I enjoy more than talking books, as you'll see from my many comments on the post. I left out so many of my favorites in my own response that I'll be taking time soon to post a list (or lists) here.

Currently Reading: I have only 1.5 chapters left of 1000 Gifts (Voskamp). You better believe I'm making them stretch out. I love her approach and perspective to grace and gifts. I've been working my way through some writing books: Plot and Structure, The Right to Write, and Writing the Breakout Novel. At first I was overwhelmed and hated my writing but now I feel inspired and have all sorts of new ideas for my novel.

TV: The Office has been great the last couple of weeks! I am sad to see Michael/Steve Carell go but they have been doing wonderful things with his departure. I won't spoil anything in case people didn't watch last night but last week's Rent-inspired send off? Loved it.

Onto The Vampire Diaries. Does anyone else watch it? My friend Jill and I love to hash it out from time to time. The twists and turns this series is taking has me on the edge of my seat! After hearing many people rave about it, I watched my first episode of Fringe. I enjoyed it but was thoroughly confused. I'll have to track down the DVDs and catch up before I watch anymore.

I've been trying to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County but that ship might have sailed. I gave up on the New York housewives after the first episode. The earlier seasons were much classier, if there is such a thing when it comes to these ladies.

Movies: I actually rented a couple this month! I was in a chick flick mood the other weekend. Morning Glory was surprisingly endearing. I loved watching Harrison Ford play such a curmudgeon! He and Diane Keaton played really well off one another. Rachel McAdams was also great. However, I was really irritated that the love interest started out as a one-night stand. Is this what society is coming to? Life as We Know It was a disappointment. There's only so much suspension of reality that I can take! I think I'm starting to dislike Ms. Heigl, though Josh Duhamel is always a treat.

In the Kitchen: Apparently I was all about dessert this month- and I'm not that big of a baker! However, I shared my favorite Mug Brownie recipe. Then I saw this recipe for Pudding Cookies with Robins Eggs and Robins Eggs are one of my favorite Easter candies so I had to give those a whirl, thus breaking my agreement to not keep dessert in the house. Between those and Cadbury Eggs, I haven't gone overboard too much. For Easter I made Lemon Thyme Chicken with Sauteed Zucchini Ribbons. Pure heaven. I'll be posting the recipe soon!

Listening: At Blissdom, (in)courage/Dayspring gave us copies of Adie's CD Just You and Me. I listened to it a couple of times when I first got home but now it's in the car. Adie, incidentally, is married to Jeremy Camp and used to be the lead singer of The Benjamin Gate. I only know that because of my time working at The Christian Bookstore. In any case, she does a great job with some of the worship songs I love and a few new ones.

NoiseTrade has had some fantastic free downloads lately- Sandra McCracken's full-length and Sleeping at Last generously put up Storyboards. (Though, I really hope you already own Sleeping at Last's CDs.)

I went to the William Fitzsimmons show the other weekend and was blown away. His newest album is phenomenal! So glad to have finally seen him live.

Wow- I was wordy this month! What were you into during April?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

An Ode to My Two Gray Hairs

2011-04-27T08:11:00.003-05:00

There you lie, a beacon

Proof of wisdom,

Maturity,

Age.

You are not yet legion

But I see you

Glistening

Giving me hope

One day I will look my age.

How do you feel about your gray hair(s)? My mom doesn't dye hers. She is beautiful both inside and out, a wonderful example for me. While no one else notices my few grays right now, I don't think I'll change it once there's more salt and pepper either. I really do feel proud of these glimmers- I earned them!

Toasting Jesus

2011-04-25T08:11:00.007-05:00

Several years ago I was a small group Bible study leader for our young adult group. My church had a certain protocol for its small group leaders. First, you would be an apprentice leader. Second, you would attend a couple of leadership training sessions, in which you learned the basics of leading a small group.

The training encouraged its small group leaders to think outside the box. They acknowledged that it was good to have a regular structure and format but also encouraged us that mixing it up could be beneficial. One such activity they suggested was taking communion as a group. This was an intriguing idea to me, as I'd never experienced the sacrament outside of a church setting.

I am the type of person that is more comfortable helping others succeed in leadership roles. I know that I'm a good leader. I just happen to think I'm an even better follower. Even so, I was flattered when I was asked to be an apprentice leader. That said, I was also nervous about taking on the role.

I shouldn't have been nervous. The girls in my group were fantastic! A few I knew before but there were a lot of new additions to the young adult group. We fell into a regular rhythm of discussing our study and challenging one another.

For group one fall night, I gathered everyone around and explained that we would be taking communion together. I had us all go off into separate spaces in the apartment to spend time with God and prepare our hearts. I didn't know what would become of this experiment but I thought it was worth trying.

Instead of bread or those horrible dry crackers, I bought Cinnamon Teddy Grahams. I hate grape juice but not everyone drank wine so I chose a lovely CranApple juice. I figured the spirit mattered more than what we drank and ate.

After a time, I called everyone back. I read Scripture: This is My body. This is My blood. Do this in remembrance of Me.

The mood was solemn. I felt moved and humbled to have such an experience with these women.

As I finished reading the passage from Luke 22, my mind went blank. What on earth came next? I unsuccessfully tried to remember how our pastor would transition from scripture to inviting the congregation to take part.

There we sat with our juice and Teddy Grahams, everyone looking for me to move us forward.

I did the only thing this then 20-something could think of.

I raised my Dixie cup of CranApple juice high and proclaimed:
"To Jesus!"

(Bonus points if you are like my friend Jill and this story reminded you of Demetri Martin Toasting Traffic. You are super cool! If it didn't, you should acquaint yourself with Demetri's work right now.)

(Bonus points to my small group for not holding my lack of communion-leading finesse against me. We toasted Jesus and moved on with the night. And, for whatever reason, they continued to come back week after week.)

Sunday Sentiments: Come Awake!

2011-04-24T11:49:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

This Easter is a bit different from previous years. For one, I'm not with my family. For another, I went to my church's Easter service last night. This is not the first time I've celebrated Easter on a Saturday night but it still seems strange to celebrate on a day other than Sunday.

I've realized that the most important part of my Easter celebration is going to church and acknowledging Christ's death and resurrection. While I love to be surrounded by loved ones at Thanksgiving and Christmas, my association with Easter is purely spiritual.

Last night's service was closed by singing Matt Maher's Christ is Risen. The lyrics still reverberate in my heart and mind.

Christ is risen from the dead

We are one with Him again

Come awake, come awake!

Come and rise up from the grave -Matt Maher

"Come awake, come awake!" I exhort myself. It is time to stand in the light and proclaim Christ's victory over death. It is by grace I am saved and by grace that I may approach the throne.

I pray that this Easter reckoning will go beyond today, that I won't simply sift back into the daily toils and struggles. We are free because of His great love for us! How can we not come alive and devote all?

Happy Easter everyone! May you be washed anew with God's lavish love for us. He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Max on Life review

2011-04-20T08:01:00.001-05:00

Max Lucado's latest effort is a collection of 172 of the most common questions readers have asked him over the years. They're broken into categories: Hope, Hurt, Help, Him/Her, Home, Haves/Have-nots, and Hereafter. Answering big questions about heaven and hell and hitting closer to home with questions related to divorce and depression, Max covers a lot of territory.

I'm a Max Lucado fan so I had high hopes for Max on Life. He has a way of making connections and explaining the complex in a way that I and so many other readers understand.

Unfortunately I felt he missed the mark here. It boils down to this: too many questions and not enough of a response. Though the point of the book is perhaps to offer a short response, many of the questions deal with complex matters and surely deserve more than a half-page response. At times, such as the questions dealing with grief and singleness, I felt his words didn't directly answer the question. In which case, perhaps they should have used a different question that worked better with his answer.

I like reading advice columns, some more than others. Readers don't always agree with the advice that columnists give. Sometimes they are limited by the size of the column or trapped by their own bias. In Max's case, his advice was often wise but truncated. I wanted Max on Life to be more than an advice column.

Might people still be comforted by Max's words of wisdom? Of course! I still greatly respect his writing and his ministry. I was just left wanting in this regard.

Do you read advice columns? I always thought it would be a fun job to have!

Disclosure: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Mug Brownie (we were made for each other)

2011-04-19T08:01:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that I love dessert. It's the reason I went cold turkey for a month. I'm happy to say that dessert has become less frequent, yet more enjoyed since our relationship resumed in March.

I've figured out a few ways to keep my dessert-loving ways under control.
1) Don't keep it in the house. While I have ice cream in the freezer, it's just one kind. If I make dessert for an event, it doesn't come back. No more buying cookies from the bakery- it just means I'll rationalize eating them for breakfast.
2) When I'm offered something sweet, I ask myself if it's worth being my "one dessert of the day." Sometimes it is, but sometimes I decide to skip it, even if I don't have anything else later.
3) Figure out ways to make it personal/single-sized. Just one serving is enough!

A couple of years ago the Chicago Tribune Food section printed a recipe for a brownie made in a mug. It was a tiny blurb and I might have overlooked it, but "brownie" called out to me like a siren song. I quickly became a convert of the Mug Brownie.

It's the perfect pick-me-up! I can't say whether it's healthy or not but it's better than eating a whole pan. In fact, sometimes I just eat half and save the rest for the next day.

Mug Brownie
4 T flour
4 T sugar
2 T cocoa
2 T vegetable oil
2 T water
(optional: dash of salt, 1/4 t. vanilla)

Assemble ingredients and mix thoroughly. It helps to use a small spatula so you can be sure the dry ingredients are thoroughly incorporated.

Microwave for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. It won't be entirely set in the middle.

Be careful- it'll be really hot! Best to cool for a couple of minutes and then eat warm. Top with vanilla ice cream, if you'd like. Then sigh with pure happiness and joy. All is right with the world when you're enjoying a Mug Brownie.

Bonus: Throw in a handful of nuts, chocolate chips, or Reese's peanut butter cups when mixing the batter to take your Mug Brownie to a whole new level.
Tip: You can use a mug (regular or large) or a ramekin. It's entirely up to you.

Do you have any pint-size dessert tricks up your sleeve? Any variations on the Mug Brownie recipe?

Home-Ec 101 review

2011-04-18T08:01:00.000-05:00

I'm ashamed to admit this but I haven't had a regular housecleaning schedule since I graduated college. Between living at home with my parents during grad school and then living with roommates, cleaning was something to do in my occasional downtime or before having company over.

I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to homemaking. I'm comfortable in the kitchen and I'm familiar with the contents of my toolbox. I can hem with the best of them and enjoy taking on home-related projects. Cleaning, however, remains something I'd prefer to avoid.

Now that I live by myself, I can only blame myself if my house isn't pristine. I subscribe to the idea of cleaning once I notice its dirty. (Lest you think I'm a slob, I'm not. I just don't dust and polish as often as I should.) I keep up on laundry and the dishes but other chores tend to be delayed. I know it's just an excuse but the idea of cleaning after a hard day's work makes me feel more exhausted.

Clearly I needed Home-Ec 101, written by blogger Heather Solos. When the One2One Network offered to let me read a free copy of the eBook, I didn't hesitate to say yes.

The full title of Home-Ec 101 says it all: Skills for Everyday Living. The book is divided into 4 sections, comprised of Clean It, Wash It, Fix It, Cook It. It is jam-packed with helpful information.

Wondering about why you shouldn't mix ammonia and bleach? And did you know you still shouldn't mix them, even if they're included in other cleaners?

Do you know how long your appliances will last? Are you versed in how to get rid of all manner of stains?

What should you do if you need a rolling pin but don't want to buy one? (I felt proud that I already knew this answer- use a bottle of wine.) What are common cooking substitutions?

All this and more is contained in Home-Ec 101. Thanks to Heather, I have now developed a cleaning schedule that works for me. She breaks up chores into daily tasks. Dusting becomes more manageable when you do it one room at a time. She walks the reader step by step through deep cleaning, then offers tips on how to maintain a clean home. This I can handle.

While the eBook was helpful, I'm glad that Home-Ec 101 is available in hard copy at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Depending on your question, it would be easy to flip to the pertaining section. This is a handy manual that you'll want to keep around.

What are your cleaning habits? How do you stay on top of the demands of your home?

Disclosure: One2One Network provided me with a free copy of the Home-Ec 101 eBook for review, with no expectation that I would provide a positive review. The thoughts, opinions, and reactions are entirely my own.

Sunday Sentiments: Remembering the Good

2011-04-17T13:30:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.
I hear people say they survived evangelicalism or they survived a charismatic church upbringing. My faith narrative has become such that I've often focused on the negative aspects of my childhood church.

I didn't mean to throw the baby out with the bath water.

My mom and I had an interesting conversation after I wrote about my difficulty praying out loud. She has a different perspective of my childhood church, which makes sense. I was young and typically in Sunday school during the service. My recollections come from the Sunday night services. My perspective is limited by my age at the time. What does a 4 year old know about church other than what she sees? It was only later that it didn't sit well with me.

My story doesn't end there. God used the meandering path my faith took and I am better for it. And the truth is, my upbringing in the church impacted my understanding of God for the better.

It was there that I participated in Sword Drills and learned how to memorize scripture. I can remember sitting in the Sunday school room proudly reciting the books of the Bible. While some of the Old Testament prophets trip me up at times, I still have the order memorized.

It was there that our family was embraced by the church community and there that I came to experience fellowship. So many church families were our friends. I now know that this is not par for the course at every church. I remember playing at the Murdoch and Mattea homes, as the grown ups chatted and did life together. The Ogaards are still close friends, though my family left that church more than two decades ago.

It was there that my parents grew in their faith, which translated to growing my and my brother's faith.

It was there that I learned about the Bible and the meaning of Easter and that Jesus died on the cross for me.

I learned a lot of good in that church during my formative years. It's time I remembered that.

Are you ever tempted to throw the baby out with the bath water? Can you find positive in the negative?

DaySpring Giveaway winner

2011-04-16T09:07:00.000-05:00

I must say I'm surprised by the low entries to the DaySpring giveaway. Perhaps there's been a glut of giveaways this week?

Well, their loss is the winner's gain.

Congratulations to...my mom! Yay Mom! Now go use the DaySpring code for yourself, promise?

Of Praying Out Loud and Peer Pressure

2011-04-14T08:01:00.003-05:00

When Joey told me about his vision for Prayer Night, a group of friends gathering once a week to pray, the only answer that made sense was "yes." Except for that pesky minor detail that I hated praying out loud.

So why would I agree to this? It may have had something to do with my then crush on Joey. More than likely though, it was because I was completely in love with my new group of friends.

I had just started going to the church and was becoming involved with the young adult group. I spent many fun hours with this group of friends. We relished the time we spent together but also pushed each other when it came to matters of faith. With friends such as these, you agree to do things just so you can spend more time together. At least it was mostly spiritual peer pressure!

This was not Prayer Night but if you double the amount of people crammed into the room, it would look pretty similar.

The timing of the invitation was not coincidental. God had been nudging my heart on the prayer front for awhile and I could not ignore this opportunity to grow. Joey probably would have pestered me until I joined anyway!

My distaste for oral prayer was born out of my childhood experience with a charismatic church. Praying in tongues, oil anointing, the whole nine yards. Prayer was elevated to an art form. (Ed. note: overall I have lovely memories of this church. I learned a lot about God, the Bible, and how to pray. Sometimes I focus on the negatives of this church and that is to my detriment.) Then later, at another church, I witnessed people with silver tongues but hypocritical lives. In my mind, prayer was best kept between God and me.

It would be easy to say that my dislike of public prayer was solely born from my church experience. The seeds were planted there but I continued to sow them. Because of the flowery prayers I'd heard, I put more pressure on myself to pray beautiful prayers that would move people. I knew this was not what prayer should be about. I didn't like facing my pride but I knew I didn't want to be a hypocrite either. It seemed better to keep my prayers to myself and this became a way of life. The rare times I did pray aloud, I was nervous, butterflies in the stomach, clammy hands. My spoken prayers never sounded as good as the ones in my head.

Prayer Night forced me to embrace a new habit. I reminded myself that it was still between me and God, that the audience didn't matter. The subject matter was of more import, as was the Listener. Because I embrace challenge, I would at times volunteer to start prayer. This way I had no excuse not to participate. Starting the prayer allowed me to speak from my heart. I wasn't building off of what others said and I wasn't distracted by thinking about what I should pray.

Some nights we shared personal prayer requests. Some nights we prayed for our country or current event. There were the consistent attendees and those who floated in and out from week to week. What remained the same was our love for God and for each other.

Prayer Night lasted a couple of years before our group succumbed to out-of-state job promotions, marriages, children. In that time, I grew to look forward to this little community of believers. I became more comfortable in interceding in front of my friends and on their behalf.

I'm still not a likely candidate for Pray-er of the Year but I am more likely to pray with a friend the moment a burden is presented. I'm less bound by my childhood church experiences. I'm more resolute that joining in prayer is an important part of building community and fellowship.

I may not love praying out loud but Prayer Night taught me its role in my life. And I am richer for it.

This post was written for the Remarkable Faith link-up at Giving Up on Perfect, a series of memories and posts as we approach Lent.

Are you comfortable praying out loud? What is your experience with prayer?

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for (in)courage and DaySpring! $35 could mean a nice present for a friend- or for yourself! Click here to enter.

Of Serving Trays and Giveaways

2011-04-13T08:11:00.009-05:00

I was so excited when I was asked to review the Wonderful Grace Tray for (in)courage. I've been lusting after the tray for a few months now. I know, I know. I shouldn't say "lusting" when describing Christian-inspired product. Let's just say I greatly yearned after this tray.

(Stay tuned for a giveaway at the end of this post!)

The tray contains these words ringing around its edges: wonderful grace, simple joy, unending hope, authentic peace, unfathomable love. The carved flowers on the sides add to the beauty of its message. At 14" x 14", it's perfect for your serving or decorating needs.

I've had fun figuring out where to use my Wonderful Grace Tray. I tried three different locations in my house and then played around with what to put on the tray.

First, a look at the serving tray I currently use in my living room. I don't have a coffee table due to space constraints so a serving tray on the ottoman is a perfect fix.

Before

After

I've been meaning to find something to stash remote controls- it's actually a candle holder with a couple of wine corks to stabilize the bottom. The magazines now have more room to breathe.

Next, I considered using it with my PartyLite Thai Inspiration Candles in my office. I thought the contrasting woods might add some extra drama.

Not bad but not quite what I was going for either.

As to the tray's final resting place, look no further than the kitchen counter/bar. The Grace Tray provides an anchor to the space, allowing me to feature seasonal decor or whatever currently inspires me. Plus, it forces me to put papers away, instead of letting them accumulate there.

I love grouping various items from my house. I started with a Ball jar that collects pennies, then I added the Anthro candle, a votive, and the dried gingko leaves from last fall.

For another touch of color, I added the fantastic red graphic bookmarks my friend Val made me. I loved it!

But then I thought about how it's spring and this seemed to be a very fall arrangement. It happens easily enough in my home, given that fall and its colors are my favorite.

I set to making a more springlike arrangement and came up with this:

I'm sure in the coming weeks, I'll tweak it a bit more. Either way, the Grace Tray has helped me see my home in a whole new light!

(in)courage is kindly offering a $35 coupon code to DaySpring to a reader! (A coupon code is the same as a gift certificate here.) This might be a good time to mention that the Wonderful Grace Tray is 50% through the month of April. Or perhaps you'd like something else from DaySpring. The choice is yours!

To enter the giveaway:

* Leave a comment telling me what you'd like from DaySpring if you win. Or tell me why you like spring. Or what color you're wearing today. Just comment about something.

Opportunity for 3 extra entries:

*Subscribe to HopefulLeigh through Google Friend Connect or Feedburner. Or like HopefulLeigh on Facebook. Then comment that you've done so. (If you already follow through one of these options, you can comment that you're super cool and ahead of the crowd.)

*Tweet about the giveaway, then comment here with the link. Bonus points if you incorporate @HopefulLeigh, @incourage, or @DaySpringCards. (Bonus points are symbolic only- tweeting will only earn you 1 extra entry.)

*Post about the giveaway on Facebook and comment here letting me know.

This means you can enter for the giveaway up to 4 times! The giveaway will remain open until Saturday April 16 at 9 am CST. The winner will be chosen at random and posted soon thereafter. The winner will have 2 days to respond, then I'll pick a new winner.

Disclosure: (in)courage provided me the Grace Tray for free for review purposes, with no expectation that I would provide a positive review. The thoughts, opinions, and reactions are entirely my own. It's always nice when I love the product I've been given!

The Final Summit Review

2011-04-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

I admit I wasn't expecting to enjoy reading The Final Summit. I hadn't read its predecessor The Traveler's Gift and the time traveling premise didn't necessarily appeal to me. Still, I knew that Andy Andrews has been on the New York times bestselling list a time or two so when the opportunity arose to review the book for Thomas Nelson's BookSneeze program, I took it.

I'm so glad I did.

It didn't matter that I hadn't read about our character David Ponder before. Enough backstory was presented that I had a good idea of who he was and what he'd been through. In The Final Summit, David Ponder is a successful man, who lost his fortune once and then managed to rebuild it based on the Seven Decisions (all gleaned during events in the first book). When we meet David, he is mourning the death of his wife and questioning his purpose. That's putting it too kindly. He basically wishes he was dead.

Instead of getting his wish, the archangel Gabriel appears before him. Gabriel reminds David that he is the last Traveler. A summit of all the Travelers over all time has been called. Their purpose is to determine whether there should be a future on this earth, given the state of humanity.

Books involving time travel and historical figures can go a couple of ways. They can be cheesy and trite. Or they can allow the reader to learn and grow. Thankfully, The Final Summit falls into the latter category.

The Travelers are a diverse group. There are the "dead white guys," of course, but there are also women and representations from various cultures and ethnicities. And while important people throughout history are represented, there are also those souls we know nothing about who forever altered events because of their courage.

David Ponder leads the Travelers as they discuss what humanity must do to restore itself. They are given 5 chances or humanity is done for. Gabriel alludes to a "He" throughout the book, which I assumed to be God. Therefore, I read this as God giving humanity one last chance through this group of Travelers. The reader can't help but dialog with them as answers are tossed out and discussed.

It was interesting to see how King David might respond in a think tank but I was more taken with Eric Erikson's story. Did you know that President Eisenhower said that if not for Erickson, we would not have won World War II? I didn't either before reading this book.

It is that attention to detail and research that makes Andrews' book worth reading.

Now I don't agree that God would give humanity one last chance, as this would negate his promise after the flood. And I didn't always agree with the Travelers' discussion points- though the portion on depression was genius. Still, their discussion is not unlike the things we all talk or wonder about at one time or another. Why is the world this way? What can we do to make it a better place? What is our purpose?

Without giving away anything, I will say this. Their conclusion is one I wish all people would adopt. If our leaders would step up to the plate. If we all could exhibit integrity and courage. If we all did our part. What kind of world would we live in?

This may be the stuff of fiction but The Final Summit helps me keep believing that a better way exists and that change is possible.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

TMI

2011-04-12T08:01:00.002-05:00

I left work early on Friday due to food poisoning. I had entirely too much to do but you can't argue with food poisoning. After the week I'd had, it seemed like a strangely fitting end.

I realized a few things as I listed about the house waiting to feel better.

1. I tend to overshare about my illnesses. If I'm sick, I'll probably tell you about it, even if it's not so bad that I need to stay home. I've always enjoyed making my dad and brother squirm by telling them about my cramps. But how many people want to hear the ins and outs of my food poisoning? Other than my mom, no one.

2. This gives me good insight as to my conversation topics when I am an 87 year old woman. However, if you patiently listen to the tales of aches and pains, I promise I will then regale you with my latest adventures. Which will hopefully amount to more than winning Bingo last weekend. I want to be the feisty old lady who still gets herself into trouble!

3. Never, ever go on WebMD.com unless you want to convince yourself that you're about to die. I thought I learned this lesson several years ago when some strange neurological symptoms led to a description of MS. (See how I'm oversharing again?) This sent me freaked out to my doctor, who performed a few simple tests which quickly ruled out MS, and told me the symptoms would resolve, which they did a few days later. So yes, I knew better than to go on this website. But this round of food poisoning was different than what I've experienced before so to WebMD I went. I promptly believed that my appendix had burst and spent much of Friday and Saturday questioning at what point I should go to the hospital, lamenting the lack of a PCP which I've been meaning to find since I moved, and whether this particular pain was actually my appendix. It wasn't. I'm totally fine now.

4. Old Navy has a really catchy song on their dress commercial. I watched enough TV to almost memorize it and now it's stuck in my head. Time to put my music back on....

I have no idea why I like sharing details of my illnesses. Am I trying to prove to people that I really am sick? I think the fact that I cried (why, oh, why do I cry when I'm sick?) on the phone to my boss on Friday was proof enough that I felt miserable. It might be because I live by myself and morbidly wonder if I'll die from some fluke illness and no one will notice for a few days. In this sense, I'm putting people on notice to check up on me. Sometimes though, I think that if I share enough detail (but not too much of the really gross detail- I have some discretion) that the person will tell me about this awesome home remedy and I'll be quickly cured!

In light of these revelations, I'm going to practice keeping my mouth shut next time I get sick.

Unless you're my mom. In which case, prepare yourself for a detailed explanation of my latest cold.

Remembering Aunt Teresa

2011-04-11T08:01:00.002-05:00

A year or so old, at a park with Aunt Teresa

I can't remember a time without Aunt Teresa. My grandparents moved Teresa and my great-grandmother in with them the year I was born. Great-Grandma's health was beginning to fail and she could no longer care for Teresa the way she needed to. Teresa, you see, was developmentally disabled with the perpetual mind of an 8 year old.

When I hear the phrase "child-like enthusiasm" I immediately think of Aunt Teresa. She loved kittens, stuffed animals, and weddings, especially brides. She loved to sing and celebrate her birthday. She almost always had a bow in her hair. Her chore in my grandparents' home was to do the dishes and she did this cheerfully. She faithfully attended Mass with my grandparents and enjoyed being helpful. You couldn't help but feel loved when Teresa greeted you at the door.

I could always count on Teresa when I wanted to find kittens in the barn.

That's me on the left with a growing out perm and pink glasses circa 6th grade with Teresa and my second cousin Michelle

This is not to say that she was perfect. Teresa would get upset if she didn't get her way. She didn't always obey or understand what was expected of her. Her feelings would get hurt, especially if she heard someone refer to her as "retarded." That word, even used as slang, angers me to this day.

Wherever my grandparents went, there would be Teresa. Every so often, Grandpa and Grandma would find someone to stay with Teresa. But for the most part, Teresa was at every family gathering and event my grandparents attended. She was a big part of our lives.

Dancing at Jon and Heather's wedding in 2000

As she had always been there, I never thought of a time where Teresa would no longer be with us. While I knew Teresa and my grandparents were getting older, I could never bring myself to think of the inevitable.

Teresa was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July 2006. The original prognosis was for 3 to 4 months. Proving that a prognosis is little more than an educated guess, Teresa lived for 9 months. During that time, the hospice I worked for took care of Aunt Teresa, thus paving the way for when my Grandma would need their care, less than two months after Teresa died.

Grandma's death overshadowed our family's loss of Teresa. I still don't understand how I managed to deal with two losses so close together, even four years later.

I do know this. Teresa's death prepared me to lose my Grandma, though we had no way of knowing Grandma was sick at the time. In those 9 months, I visited my grandparents more than usual, helping out with Teresa's care or sitting with her for awhile so Grandpa and Grandma could eat an uninterrupted meal. When Teresa wanted me to sleep over, I did, even though it meant braving a snowstorm. That night after Teresa was tucked in bed, Grandma and I chatted for awhile as we watched TV. I have so many more precious memories with my Grandma because of Teresa's convalescence. I have no regrets.

I was with Aunt Teresa on this day 4 years ago when she took her last breath. The night before, Grandma had told Teresa she would be OK, alluding to their inside joke that Grandma would be lost without Teresa. Shortly thereafter, Teresa slipped into a comatose state. I left work early when I learned Teresa was actively dying. I made it in time to gather for prayers and then she slipped away.

Death is shocking, even when you're prepared for it. Even when we've grieved a loss, we can still be surprised by our ability to forget they are gone or our reaction to something they would have loved.

Sometimes when I drive to Grandpa's house, I expect Aunt Teresa will open the door. I think I will hear her familiar laugh as she says my name and pulls me inside for a hug. She was always there.

Teresa, a month or two after diagnosis

It's been four years. Today I remember Teresa with her hairbows, her enthusiasm, and the love she had for her "favorite" great-niece.

Sunday Sentiments: Better Love

2011-04-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

"Love sought is good, but given unsought is better." -William Shakespeare

She doesn't care if I'm in workout clothes, without make-up. She doesn't care if I'm sick or tired.

All that matters is that I'm there and that I'm her auntie.

When I think of the ways I am loved, she comes to mind, along with my inner circle and my family. Then my thoughts turn to God, who will always love me better and most of all. He sought me out when I didn't believe I was worth seeking and He continues to lavish His love over me.

He doesn't care that I still wrestle with doubt and insecurity. I don't have to keep up my defenses in His presence. I can simply be. Such a precious gift, this being, this noticing the moment and thanking Him for the gifts both good and bad.

Truly, unsought love is better.

Here Burns My Candle review

2011-04-08T21:09:00.000-05:00

I was excited to receive my copy of Here Burns My Candle for a few reasons.

1. I love free books!

2. It's a historical novel set in Scotland.

3. I've read Liz Curtis Higgs' other historical series set in Scotland and loved it.

4. Scotland seems so romantic to me.

The novel follows the Kerr family in 1745, the story focusing on Lady Elisabeth Kerr and her mother-in-law, the dowager Lady Marjory Kerr. The bonny Prince Charlie and his army of Jacobites have ridden into town and are preparing to take back their land. The Rising has a profound effect on Elisabeth and her husband Lord Donald, his brother and sister-in-law Andrew and Janet, and Marjory. The family is initially mixed in their loyalties- do they throw their support to Prince Charlie or stay loyal to King George? Elisabeth worries her Highlander loyalties, and thus to the bonny Prince, will divide her against her family. Each character's reaction to the turmoil around them sets the course for our tale.

Higgs's historical novels trace a Biblical story. Take what you learned about any one story and throw it out the window. She has a way of turning familiar words on their heads, with the added effect that we then better understand the Bible. Such was true when I read her Lowlands of Scotland series, her take on Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. Did I ever expect I would take Leah's side? Definitely not. Growing up, I was always upset that she "stole" Jacob from Rachel. But we must remember that things are not always as they seem. I've never been able to read that portion of Genesis in the same way and the same will hold true with the Book of Ruth.

Here Burns My Candle is the first in a two-book series. This time around, our story is based on Ruth, Naomi, and Orpah. I always loved reading the books of Ruth and Esther, our primary examples of women in the Bible. I'm also familiar with the Jacobite Rising (thanks to a certain saucy Outlander series, read at your own risk.) The Jacobite Rising provides an interesting backdrop but our prime concern is with the ladies Kerr. (If you're not as familiar with either- spoiler alert.) I knew all would not end well for Elisabeth and Marjory. However, this did not demean the novel in any way.

The plot primarily moved forward, for me, thanks to the dynamics between Elisabeth and Marjory. Marjory starts off as a snobby, critical, domineering mother-in-law. Watching her grow, seeing her reclaim her faith as Elisabeth comes to know who God is, was beautiful. I don't want to say much more than that. Suffice it to say, I was captivated from the start.

I'm very excited to dive into the sequel: Mine is the Night. My blogger friend Heatherly raved about it to me on Twitter. I can't wait to see Higgs' rendition of Boaz! Be still my heart.

I have a hunch that a trip to Scotland is in my future. Who wouldn't love to traipse about Edinburgh, soaking in the history and culture? And perhaps listening to those sexy accents?

Who's with me?

Disclosure: I received this book free fromWaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging for Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

The Enneagram and ME: The Good

2011-04-07T08:01:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I shared the dark side of being a Four, according to The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective. And if you're still back for more, thank you. As I mentioned yesterday, I was a bit anxious about being so vulnerable and focusing on my more negative traits.

Today, thankfully, I get to talk about the gifts and benefits of being a Four. I hope that people experience this side of me more often than not.

1. They are motivated by the need to understand themselves and their feelings. They search for meaning in life
Maybe this explains my penchant for personality tests and self-analysis? I've also written in a journal since I was in 6th grade. The things I have learned from reading through those old entries- yikes! I view this as a positive trait. Understanding myself helps me understand the people around me. Searching for meaning draws me closer to God.

2. Fours like to have long conversations over wine or tea. They have exquisite taste!
I love these random things! Totally me. I adore sitting in a coffee shop talking away the day with a good friend- or over a glass of wine at night. When I travel, I look for unique pieces, jewelry, etc. to bring home. I'm not opposed to mass market clothes but there's a definite look or style that I have and it must conform to that. Resale shops are my friends.

3. They tend to be artistically gifted.
Well, this one certainly makes me happy. I always loved art and English class best. I still love to paint and draw when I have time, as well as work on other crafty projects. I will never be a famous artist but I am creative and talented. More importantly, I derive great joy from creating! Writing is my true first love. My childhood dream was to be an author. Anytime anyone compliments my writing, I am over the moon.

4. Fours avoid ordinariness. They like to be different.
I have eclectic taste. I am opinionated. I enjoy that I am not a "typical" Christian. I don't always like to be singled out but I don't like being lost in the crowd either.

5. Fruit of the Spirit for redeemed Fours: Balance. They understand the human soul better than anyone, as well as the range of emotions. When they are redeemed, Fours can distance themselves from their emotion, thus purifying it.
I am able to be more objective about my emotions now. I have an idea of my triggers and how to better care for myself. When I'm going into a potentially tough situation, I try to prepare myself for how I may respond, which helps. I have become so much better at self-care in the last decade. I feel that being emotionally balanced, as well as balanced in all areas of life, has helped me to be a more effective counselor. This is very much connected to #6. I have a calming presence and a go-with-the-flow personality, which is tied into balance as well.

6. They are able to access a depth of feeling that few others can. Because of this, they are better than most at understanding and advising people going through difficult or calamitous experiences. They're not afraid of complicated, dark feelings as they've already gone through it.
Going through depression and suicidality, experiencing several losses, and more...these things have greatly enhanced my ability to walk beside people through their darkest hours. Whether working for hospice or my current position, I am able to listen to and advise people who face the unfathomable and still retain my compassion. Does this tire me out at times? Yes. But I often feel that my life experiences make me the best person to sit in that space. I'm OK with not knowing the answers or having the perfect thing to say.

7. Invitation: call to originality. They find who they are in terms of who they are in God.
Viewing myself through God's eyes has been huge! Accepting that He created me fearfully and wonderfully in His image has done wonders for my self-esteem. Knowing that nothing escapes His notice, that He works all things for good, has helped me immeasurably. Reconciling my political beliefs to my faith led to me to make my faith my own. I was able to be myself before God and know that I was loved unconditionally. I finally accepted His grace.

8. Life tasks: develop a healthy realism and convert longing into actual goals.
The realism developed when I saw a counselor in college. Converting longing into goals, this is something that I push myself to do. Now that I think of it, that was somewhat behind my move to Nashville. This has something to do with my 31 Things and 32 Things- giving purpose to each year. A current way I'm doing this is sitting down each week to work on my book. The dream I've had since I was a little girl is coming closer to reality. I have no idea if I'll be published but I'd never know if I just continued to sit around dreaming about it. Are there other dreams that need to be converted into goals? Absolutely but let's just take it one at a time for now!

My inspiration board

Those who know me in real life, does this seem to be a good explanation for me? (I'm guessing that some of these things could be detected in blogland as well!) Anyone else think they're a Four?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

The Enneagram and ME: The Bad

2011-04-06T08:01:00.002-05:00

The Enneagram has been a wonderful, if difficult, tool since I read it in December. (If you missed yesterday's post about ancient personality typing, click here.) It's not meant to pigeonhole us in any one type but should serve instead as a guide, a way of better understanding who we are and how we relate to others and God.

As I mentioned Monday, I had a hard time figuring out which type I was. There were many aspects of the other types that I related to. After going back and forth, it turns out I'm a Four. As Rohr observed, this realization made me miserable. While there are wonderful attributes associated with Fours, unredeemed Fours don't come across as the best people. Believe me, I've had many unredeemed moments in my life.

I'm a little anxious to put myself on display in this way, especially to start with the dark side of Fours. It's hard to confront some of the ugliness in my character. In some cases, I know that I'm not the same person anymore. In others, there's still lots of room for growth. Either way, I don't come across too pretty here. You're about to learn more about me than you may want!

Still, I'm not posting this for reassurance that I'm not that bad or that I've grown. I know that. I'm posting this because vulnerability in the moment is an area I need to work on. I think I'm pretty great but I don't ever want to come across as someone that has it all together. I'm a work in progress, as you shall see.

The following statements are traits of Fours, according to Rohr and Ebert's work. My insights are below.

1. Fours' life question is "What do you think of me?" They strive to be exceptional, unique, and creative.
So much of my early life was about this question. I completely defined myself by what others thought or at least what I thought they thought about me. It wasn't as much about approval as it was being noticed. I still want to be noticed. I want people to see me as Creative with a capital C, not just someone who is creative. I don't like being put in a box. I want to be known for being the best at something or at least someone who stands out.

2. They are primarily shaped by longing: for beauty, for wholeness, for love. The longing is more important than the receiving.
I started daydreaming about my wedding the first time I played with Barbie and Ken. The desire to be married shaped me, especially as this is currently an unfulfilled longing. I have to remind myself that marriage won't always be roses and sunshine and my husband will let me down at some point. No one but God can meet our deepest needs. We will never be satisfied on earth. I'm always surprised when my dreams do come true. After years of pining away over a trip to Ireland, I couldn't believe when I actually made it there and how God brought it together. You'd think that would be enough but I simply moved on to longing over the next destination. I force myself to write down the ways my dreams have come true because it's too easy for me to move on to the next unfulfilled desire.

3. Their style and spontaneity is often contrived.
I don't have to look any further than the skater, grunge, and hippie looks I sported in junior high and high school. I put a lot of effort into looking like I didn't care about my appearance or my activities. I tried to define myself through my clothes. Of course people could see right through that. By college, I had a better sense of my style, that really spoke to who I am. My mom likes to call it Retro Eclectic, though I'd say it's more Bohemian Chic. It's fun that friends can see a certain shirt or dress and say, "that's totally you!" and be 100% right. As far as spontaneity, I do love to plan ahead but I'm generally up for anything, unless it's on Sunday nights. I've learned that I need time to prepare for the week ahead so I try to keep Sunday nights low-key. The rest of the time? I'm game.

4. Unredeemed Fours believe they're responsible for rejection or hurt, that they are "bad."
Anytime anything bad happened, I would always believe it was my fault or that it was because it was me. Not getting asked to Homecoming, losing out on a job, not getting the internship I wanted, being hurt by a friend...always in my mind, I didn't deserve any better. I still have a hard time believing that good things will happen in my life. Even when I feel positive about something, I'm still preparing myself to be letdown. It's ironic that I'm encouraging to others but I'm my own worst critic.

5. Temptation: strive frantically for authenticity.
I've always looked for authenticity in others, thanks to a discerning spirit. This was true even when I wasn't authentic. Being raised in the church and attending a Christian grammar school gave me a lot of head knowledge and I sure was good at saying all the right things, even when I was knee-deep in my depression. Over the past 15+ years, I've become better at sharing the difficulties in my life or how God has worked. However, it's a past-tense authenticity. I wait until it's nicely packaged with a bow before sharing. It's much harder for me to be present-moment, here's my pain, I don't have a clue what to do, authentic. This is something I'm definitely working on.

6. Defense mechanism: artistic sublimation.
Adding to the above, it was very hard in junior high to admit I was struggling with depression and suicidality. I would write pages upon pages in my journal about how miserable I was. I would sketch in my drawing books or paint for awhile. There's a reason Art Therapy exists! I loved symbolism and music. I've always loved to write poetry when I'm dealing with a difficult moment. And let's just all agree that passive aggression is not the way to handle conflict with friends but I didn't learn that lesson until after college. I was the queen of the silent treatment. When I'm upset, I still tend to withdraw. I'll cry and journal for awhile. Then I just want to curl up with a book or movie and let everything else fall away.

7. Root sin is envy. There's nothing that Fours can't be envious about. This can also translate as jealousy.
Dear Lord, is this one ever true! God and I have many heart to hearts about my tendency to compare myself to others. This is definitely the root of my past depression. If I hadn't compared myself, how would I have found myself lacking in so many ways? How else did I convince myself of such utter lies? Even now, I have to watch myself, whether it's comparing the number of blog subscribers to someone else or who else has received an accolade at work or why the girl I used to babysit for just got engaged. If I let myself go down the roads of envy, it's not a pretty sight.

8. Their pitfall is their melancholy. Fours have to be depressed from time to time in order to be happy. There is pleasure in suffering.
Several years ago, I realized that I actually liked being miserable. It's what I was used to and there was a comfort in going down the same downward spiral. This, my friends, was after I'd been to college and dealt with the depression and self-esteem issues leftover from junior high. I finally accepted that I had a choice of whether or not I was going to feel miserable when those triggers showed up. Now there's a fine line between melancholy and feeling sad. I make sure that I allow myself to feel sad and cry because there are things for which we need to feel sad and cry. On the other hand, I know myself well enough to know when I'm hanging on to sadness and using it as an excuse to choose poorly.

9. Fours direct aggression against themselves. They are disgusted by themselves and their bodies.
In junior high I was convinced that I was ugly and worthless. I can't even describe how much I hated myself. I wanted to kill myself but couldn't go through with it, which became another reason to hate myself. If I'd known about cutting, I probably would have done it. I liked food too much to ever develop an eating disorder, which is merciful given everything else. That girl is not ME anymore but she's still there, at times insecure and in need of reassurance. I think that I'm cute and, on occasion, hot but I haven't gone so far as to say that I'm beautiful. I'm working on it though! Really though, to go from believing that I'm ugly to believing that I'm attractive has been huge.

10. They need friends and family that can firmly stand against their changing moods.
My poor friends and family. Remember that passive-aggressive, silent-treatment-giving girl I mentioned before? I honestly marvel about why people were friends with me in high school. I am so thankful for those that have stuck by me and that have spoken truth into my life and called me out on my crap. I've turned out to be a great friend in the end! I'm not as moody as I used to be but I think my former roommates will agree that still I have my moments. (I like to think that they're limited to a certain time in the month but it's probably better that I live alone now.) (My poor future husband. Perhaps I'll have worked through this particular issue by then?)

11. They are sensitive and easily hurt. They cry easily and are very moved by beauty, sorrow, and pain.
I see sensitivity as a blessing and a curse. I often cry during TV shows, movies, and books. In fact, I associate being moved to tears as a sign of good art. My compassion enables me to be an effective counselor. On the other hand, I take things a little too personally. If I haven't heard from a friend in awhile, I believe that they must not like me anymore or that they're mad at me or... I appreciate constructive criticism, really I do, but I hate it in that moment. That's why I've given my inner circle full permission to call me out on certain things- that way I can only be mad at myself. I have definite weepy seasons, where I cry or am on the verge of crying, for really no reason. I tend to think it happens if I haven't been as good about self-care and let my emotions pile up.

As a reminder that I'm still a good person, me and Erin

Tomorrow I look at the positive side of Fours. Stay with me?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

The Enneagram and You

2011-04-05T08:01:00.005-05:00

The Enneagram has ancient roots, stemming from Christian desert monk and medieval Sufi sources. In the last 25 or so years, there has been more written and discussed about this practice. It helps us identify the ways we hide from ourselves and from God. Last August my friend Mark told me about Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert's book The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective.

It's recommended that one does not explore the Enneagram until they are in their 30s, at the latest early 40s. Too soon and you have not fully developed your character and natural ways of dealing with life. Too late and you are likely to be too entrenched in those responses and unable or unwilling to identify them and change.

One must not enter this lightly. Discovering your type will be freeing in the end but it will first force you to confront yourself, the person that is a sinner in need of grace, who doesn't always make the best decisions, whose instincts may hurt others. We are used to the way we respond; the "dark side" of our gifts isn't always readily apparent. Rohr notes that discovering your type will make you miserable at first.

Why would anyone want to do this if it makes you miserable, you ask? Because understanding your motivations and your root sins need not end with simply identifying them. The flip side of our selfishness is our capacity to love. We see that our type, when we are whole, can enable us to give our gifts to others. We are the best version of ourselves and most open to being used by God. We are given the opportunity to grow and "become more mature, wiser, and integrated" (p. 26.)

The 9 Types:
One: The Need to be Perfect
Two: The Need to be Needed
Three: The Need to Succeed
Four: The Need to be Special
Five: The Need to Perceive
Six: The Need for Security
Seven: The Need to Avoid Pain
Eight: The Need to be Against
Nine: The Need to Avoid

Shauna Niequist has written a short overview of each type. It's well worth reading but I'd still encourage you to pick up a copy of Rohr and Ebert's book. While tests are available, it's more effective to read, ponder, pray, and discuss with others.

Perhaps this is still confusing so I will briefly walk you through Type Two, the Helper.

Twos use their gifts to help others, standing by them during difficult times. "Twos desperately want to be liked and have an exaggerated need for validation" (p. 63.) Their root sin is false pride, as they condescend to those they serve. Twos' identity is wrapped up in being needed, consequently adapting their personality to whomever needs them. Their temptation is to always help everyone else, which enables them to avoid themselves. The dilemma and gift of Twos is that they give others what they want for themselves (the golden rule)- this may not always be what the other person actually wants or needs. Their defense mechanism is repression. The pitfall is flattery, seen by denying who they are to please others. Mature Twos are able to love unconditionally, without any ulterior motives. Their fruit of the spirit (gift) is humility, as they are able to identify their real motivation. The invitation to Twos is for freedom- freedom from manipulating others to meet their own needs and from dependency on others for meaning. Tasks for a Two are to learn to say no and to understand what their own needs are.

Very interesting, isn't it? You may be wondering why I gave that particular example. When I started to read The Enneagram, I was sure I'd be a Two, as I work in a helping profession. However, I'm not. As to what type I actually am, you'll have to come back tomorrow!

After reading Shauna's overview, what type do you think you are? What are your thoughts about the Enneagram?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

The Relativity of Relators

2011-04-04T08:01:00.012-05:00

I enjoy taking personality tests and analyzing myself. To me, it's a marker of growth to be aware of why we respond the way we do (or do not.)

However, I have a hard time taking these tests and I rarely remember my results. I've probably taken the Meyers-Briggs Personality Indicator test 4 or 5 times in the past decade or so. I couldn't tell you if I received the same results each time (though I'm inclined to say they've been different.) I always wish I could be someone simply defined as ENSJ or ITFP or whatever other combination there is...but I just don't remember.

Here's the thing. These tests usually provide you with two words/descriptors and ask you to say which one you're more like. And every time, almost every question, I want to say "both." My invariable response is that it depends on the situation.

Last week I gained insight into why that might be. During a team-building exercise at work, we were taught about The Platinum Rule, which goes a step beyond the Golden Rule. Do unto others as they would want you to do.

I discovered that I'm a Relator, according to this model. Relators have close, friendly relationships with others, have natural counseling skills, and are extremely supportive. They tend to be good listeners and focus on getting acquainted and building trust. None of this was surprising to me. However, within the discussion about Relators, it turns out that we tend to see things from every angle and one of our common responses is "it depends."

This made sense to me. My ability to be a good counselor and a good listener is to understand others even when we have completely different backgrounds, opinions, and outlooks. Everything becomes situational to me as empathize and try to see things from their point of view.

When I read The Enneagram last December, I had a hard time figuring out which one of the 9 types I am. Now I understand that I had a hard time because I'm a relator. I'm always looking for common bonds and interests with the people I meet. Thus, while I have a personality all my own, I have an ability to study a situation from every angle and see how I fit in.

To discover my Enneagram type, I had to consider my motivations, my tendencies, and my root issues. While some responses might be situational, what was I most likely to do? Tomorrow I'll share more about the Enneagram types and Wednesday I'll reveal what type I am.

In the meantime:
Do you like to take personality tests? Have you ever changed an aspect of your personality (perhaps a weakness that was identified) because of one of these tests? Do you remember your Meyers-Briggs results?

Sunday Sentiments: Spring

2011-04-03T15:10:00.002-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

"Nature is telling us the story of a God who is always creating, always remaking, forever crafting new beginnings. No matter how dry the sultry dog days of summer, no matter how bitter the winter death, new beauty, new life is always coming. It is only a matter of time.

The psalmist echoes the story nature tells. He does not live in denial of the hardship or the scarcity enmeshed with human experience...However, the psalmist knows something else, something more dependable than the certainty of human turmoil. The psalmist knows God; the psalmist knows God's story, that God is always creating, always remaking, forever crafting new beginnings. With God and God's people, there will always be a new season, where life is infused and fruit blossoms. With God, there is always a fresh beginning." -Winn Collier, excerpt from Deeper Walk daily devotional

Fresh beginnings have a certain appeal and my mind can't help but wander there each spring. Flowering trees, green grass, people outside. It all speaks to new life and we are energized by it.

I could use a good dose of energy these days. One can only question their calling for so long. And while I know the direction I'm going and have new goals to work towards my dreams, I am exhausted. It takes more to replenish my strength. I've noticed I've become more of an introvert since becoming a social worker and I don't think it's by accident. Whereas I used to recharge by the constant presence of people, now I require more silence, occasionally breaking the fast for Happy Hour. This is an aspect of me, but it's not me.

My best friend sent me a letter this week and had the grace to say that I appeared to be losing my momentum. Yes, I thought, that's it exactly. I know where I want to go but it seems so far away and impossible right now. It's been easier to retreat and not try at all. In this, I am able to go to work each day but then there's nothing left when I get home.

I went on a walk with a friend yesterday and I could feel myself relaxing, settling into the sunshine, and sensing that maybe this is a fresh season in my life. It felt good. I don't know how or when God will bring this about but I see Him at work in ways both little and big. A friend freshly arrived, expanding my knowledge of this town, working on my book, figuring out what I want from life.

New beginnings don't always happen over night. Sometimes they come in fits and starts and we must be patient to see what happens next.

Are you ready for a new beginning in some aspect of your life? Is anyone else ready for winter to be over?

March Somethings

2011-04-01T08:11:00.002-05:00

Time for the monthly round-up...

I read: The Read-Along for @StickyJesus just ended. There were some excellent books on the docket this month, including the discovery of a new favorite author and realizing my history books were vastly lacking. I finished Jodi Picoult's House Rules over the weekend. I used to enjoy her books so much more than these recent ones but I'll still give her newest release a chance. I figured out how House Rules would go down within the first 100 pages- still compelling with its insider account of Asperger's. I was happy to read Beth Pattillo's latest Austen imagining: The Dashwood Sisters Tell All. The present-day interpretation of Sense and Sensibility combined with one of my favorite Formidable characters made this one hard to put down! (I read 9 books this month.)

Currently reading: I continue to savor 1000 Gifts (Voskamp). I'm reviewing Liz Curtis Higgs' Here Burns My Candle. Though it's too early to say, I believe I'm going to enjoy this one as much as her Lowlands of Scotland Series, which was a retelling of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. Here Burns My Candle is based on Naomi and Ruth and already I can tell that Higgs is going to change my understanding of that biblical tale.

TV: 30 Rock and The Office have been spot on lately. The Bachelor has ended and it's safe to say I won't be watching any more seasons. Brad and his final two ladies were just trainwrecks- I wanted to look away but somehow couldn't. The new Bachelorette was annoying and I can always read Reality Steve's spoilers if I feel like keeping up with the show. Top Chef: All-Stars has also ended. I was pretty sure Richard would make it to the finale but I've been so surprised by the other eliminations. I thought my other favorites would have gone farther. I've watched each episode wondering when Richard would succumb to a nervous breakdown. He's so talented, yet so neurotic but I'm glad he won.

Movies: No new movies viewed this month. Every weekend I think I'll get a Red Box movie and then I don't. I really should start going to the theater again!

In my kitchen: In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I whipped up my own Shamrock Shake. For our Social Work Month dessert party, I made Death by Chocolate Brownies, which are truly the easiest thing to make. Using a box brownie mix, spread half the batter in the pan, add a layer of chocolate pieces (such as a Hershey bar), then a layer of caramel, then top with the rest of the batter and bake as usual. If you use a Turtle Brownie mix, the caramel is provided, otherwise caramel ice cream topping will work or you can melt down caramels (thinned with a little evaporated milk). They were an instant hit at the party! On the weekends, I've been obsessed with stovetop oatmeal with cranberries. Accompanied by my Irish Breakfast tea, of course!

Listening: I finally bought The Black Keys' Brothers CD and it's been absolutely lovely. On the free music front, I hope you're already familiar with NoiseTrade. If you're not, you've been missing out! Jenny and Tyler's new CD was available for free for a week and I also happened upon Susan Enan's work- instant love. You might be surprised by who is offering samplers and tracks on NoiseTrade, all for free or whatever you feel like tipping them- Sleeping at Last, Ben Rector, Andrew Peterson, even The Civil Wars.

So...what were you into during March?

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

Worshiping in Weakness

2011-03-31T08:01:00.002-05:00

I have felt fragile for far too long. My eyes sting. I inwardly threaten myself. My throat feels the way it always does when I am prepared to cry. I do not want to cry here.

Each week that I choose to attend church, it's more of the same. Music lifts the veil and suddenly my heart is pierced. The things I have wanted to pray, scream, beg of God roar to the surface as the lyrics splay across the screen.

But I do not want to cry here.

Yes, Lord, "heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me."

But can we save this moment for another time? I feel raw enough. I don't want to draw any attention and I don't need to cry here.

I marvel that, "no sky contains, no doubt restrains, all You are, the greatness of our God. I spend my life to know, and I'm far from close, to all you are the greatness of our God." I am undone at His vastness and my smallness.

Then the message begins and I find myself turning to familiar passages and viewing them in a whole new light. I am ashamed of my pride in believing I know the Bible so well before those moments. It is readily apparent that I have much to learn. Humility, being humbled by these teachings and stunned by His grace, this too lifts the veil.

Song after song, week after week, worship leads me to confession. This confession stretches me, not just in admitting to God who I am, where I've been, and how I want to be open to His hand. It's more than that and I know why.

Some weeks I weigh whether or not I want to almost cry in church. This means that for every 2 or 3 weeks that I go, there's one or two weeks I stay home. I'm not always ready to be that vulnerable.

Really, I'm not ready to show my weakness in the midst of my weakness.

No ribbon-wrapped present of the lesson I've learned but the messy business of doing life where there are no answers .There is no mask to wear unless I choose to put it on.

Then, surprising myself, tears fall. Relief in this communion with Him. The people fade away. With kleenex in hand, I am made new.

This post was written for the Remarkable Faith link-up at Giving Up on Perfect, a series of memories and posts as we approach Lent.

Have you ever felt like crying in church? What is your typical response to worship?

Dijon Mustard: A Litmus Test for Online Dating

2011-03-30T08:00:00.003-05:00

Photo credit

My grade school friends and I loved quoting the Grey Poupon commercial to each other. "Pardon me, sir. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" Always uttered in the most posh and sophisticated of voices. Then the reply, "But of course." As if there were any other type of mustard one would keep in the car!

I'm not sure that I ever tried Grey Poupon, or any dijon mustard for that matter, while I was a kid. My house was more of a yellow mustard place and I would use it on just about anything. I wouldn't come to understand the deliciousness of dijon until I was a grown-up. I know this, however: that commercial was playground gold.

****

I've tried on-line dating three times. The first time was during graduate school, when I really didn't have time to meet anyone. It should surprise no one that no dates resulted during that hectic season. I tended to think of this as my non-experience with on-line dating and would actually answer no if anyone asked me if I'd tried it. Why do people seem to believe on-line dating is the cure-all for singleness? (Answer to that question: it's not.) (Also, if you're married, do not ask a single person if they've tried on-line dating. We have. It didn't work. This conversation does not help.)

I decided to give on-line dating another try about 5 years ago. This attempt actually led to dates. As I'm still single, you will correctly surmise that these dates did not work out that well.

Case in point.

I met Norman (not his real name) at one of my favorite brunch spots one snowy December day. I had reservations but decided it wouldn't hurt to meet him and see.

He did not look like his pictures but I tried to keep in mind that we all tend to choose our most flattering options when putting ourselves out there. He wasn't unattractive but he wasn't necessarily my type either.

He was extremely nervous, which was cute. I set to putting him at ease, falling back on my ability to have a conversation with just about anyone. I asked questions and ended up directing the conversation. Either he was that nervous or he didn't know how to ask me any questions about myself. Ah, the lost art of conversation. This didn't bode well for Norman.

At this point, still relatively early on in the date, I was relatively sure that we would not be a good match for a few reasons. But a date is a date and so I soldiered on.

We perused the menu, commenting on how it would be difficult to choose. Norman was debating two options and asked for my input.

He pointed at one of the sandwich descriptions. "Do you know what Die-john is?"

DIE-JOHN.

My heart sunk as I looked at the word in question.

"You mean, dijon?" I gently asked, trying to cover my shock, trying not to giggle at his expense.

"Dijon?" He looked utterly baffled. "What's that?"

Oh dear Lord. He didn't know what dijon mustard was? Did he live under a rock? Did he not venture down the condiment aisle when grocery shopping? What did this say about his powers of observation?

"It's mustard. Like Grey Poupon," I ventured, hoping this would spark some understanding, hoping I could then reference that most excellent commercial.

Silence. Deafening silence.

I knew in that moment that we were not meant to be.

Now I know dijon mustard is small in the grand scheme of things. And if Norman had been wonderful in every other way, I would have overlooked this gap in his culinary knowledge and happily taught him about the wonderful world of mustard and marketing at its finest.

However, nice as he was, Norman was not wonderful in every other way...for me.

Some women have champaigne wishes and caviar dreams. Apparently I'm a mustard girl.

What's your opinion of on-line dating? Any good stories to share?

Meeting a Meat and Three

2011-03-28T08:11:00.001-05:00

Wednesday night I posted on Facebook that I was headed to my first Meat and Three, something I'd never heard of prior to moving here. True to form, all my friends and family back home responded with "What the heck is a Meat and Three?"

A Meat and Three is pretty much just as it sounds. You have a choice of meat and 3 sides, ranging from mashed potatoes to lima beans, though sometimes it's 2 or 4 sides. Wikipedia defines this as a staple of rural cuisine, with a prix fixe menu.

In the Single Ladies Supper Club, the hostess has the option of cooking in her home or selecting a restaurant for our dining pleasure. Rebecca suggested we head to Southern Bred, which is one such place.

Located in East Nashville, Southern Bred comes across as unassuming. The decor is simple and diners are seated at wooden family tables or booths. Drinks are served in glass canning jars, a nice touch. And then they bring out the bread basket and you know you're in the right place. The small biscuits and cornbread muffins were amazing!

The menu offers many options, from the traditional Meat and Three to salads. I also hear they serve a mean brunch. Since this was my first Meat and Three experience, I opted for that day's special: Poppyseed Chicken served over Saffron Rice, with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli.

My friends all ordered different things and seemed pleased with their choices. Paige, Rebecca, and Elizabeth insisted that Rachel and I try the fried okra since neither of us had experienced that particular delicacy before.

Hello fried okra!

Love fellow Midwestern transplant Rachel's expression as she figures out a kind way to say

she wasn't feeling the fried okra.

I, on the other hand, absolutely loved it! What's not to love about a fried vegetable?

I don't normally take pictures of my food but I wanted to be sure the folks back home have a mental image to accompany today's lesson on Southern culture

In short, I loved Southern Bred. The only way it could improve would be if they added fried pickles to the menu. (Hint, hint.)

Now I don't think that all Meat and Threes are as wonderful as Southern Bred. In fact, I live a few blocks from one that looks all kinds of sketchy. However, since I love to eat meat and I love most of these sides, I think Meat and Threes will remain a part of my Southern culinary experience.

Are you pro-Meat and Three? If you live in the Nashville area, what is your favorite Meat and Three?

Sunday Sentiments: Link Love

2011-03-27T11:48:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

I can't formulate my thoughts today so instead I will share with you some of the posts that have resonated with me this past week. Mind you, this is just a partial list, the ones I haven't been able to get out of my mind.

When God Answers Yes from Stephanie Bryant at (in)courage: "But why do you pray? To get an answer? To have that answer be “Yes!”? To change your life? To change the world? Or to be with the One you long to glorify, verbalize soul-praise? No matter how you answered, it can be difficult to be loved with a “Yes.” Often when I pray, I don't expect that God will answer "yes." Instead I prepare myself to dwell in the purgatory of unfulfilled dreams. When God comes through, I'm always shocked and wonder why He chose to say "yes" this time.
Interview with an Introverted Therapist (Adam McHugh): McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church, was a guest poster on Rachel Held Evans last weekend. In the comments, someone mentioned that therapists tend to be introverts, which I'd never heard before and frankly explained a lot about my tendencies. McHugh kindly linked this interview he did on his blog and I was blown away. I've always been a good mix of introvert and extrovert but the longer I've worked as a social worker, the more I've needed to recharge sans people. Many people incorrectly define introverts and extroverts, so it's always interesting to hear from others who are outgoing, total people persons, yet need their own space to feel refreshed. Just like me!
You Are Not a Lie (Sarah Markley): A good reminder. Let it sink deep into your soul.
Velveteen Heart by Alece at A Deeper Story: "So I learned to be authentic in past tense. To speak of what I’ve overcome, how much I’ve changed, what I used to struggle with. But past tense authenticity isn’t really authenticity at all, is it? The present tense, bare-boned kind is vulnerable and exposing. Naked, with nowhere to hide. Just me, broken and battered." With these words, I felt Alece perfectly captured my struggle. From my comment: "I am so good at sharing how God has worked and my past struggles but the moment I experience present-tense pain, I retreat from friends and family...I rob them of the opportunity to be there for me, to do life together, over and over again. I’m realizing that I’m not OK with that anymore and so carefully, slowly I’ve been opening up to my inner circle in the moment. It’s awkward and I don’t like it and yet it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself."
What To Do When You Are Forced to Wait (Michael Hyatt):Very aptly put.
She Names Herself Thankful (Emily at Chatting at the Sky): "She chose a better way. She chose a life of beauty, of thanksgiving, of trust. She has lived that better way for many years alone." Oh how I pray those words will be said of me someday. There are so many lovely bits that struck me in this piece- trusting anyway, living beautifully anyway, all while God is orchestrating on our behalf.

What posts have resonated with you this week? Please feel free to link any worthwhile posts below- even your own!

Becoming Sticky

2011-03-24T07:00:00.003-05:00

"The testimonies of grace, forgiveness, redemption, and new life are echoing through cyberspace- if you listen." -p. 165

"[This book] is, however, a wake-up call about how you spend your time online- connecting, serving, and leading the conversation in such a way that others will seek to know Christ personally." -p. 171

It's hard to believe that the @StickyJesus Read-Along is through. Toni and Tami's words have given me much to think about the last couple of months.

When I started the book, I was trying to figure out my purpose with this blog. As I end the book, I feel I have some clarity on my blog's purpose but I'm also looking at how I can further connect with all the social media I regularly engage in. It's not just about my purpose here, but also Facebook and Twitter, and realizing that it's not about me. Even if that's how social media can sometimes make it seem.

My purpose is found in directing people to Christ. I've always known that, some years more clearly than others. But to apply it online, even when I was blogging about what God was teaching me, didn't seem as obvious.

I realized that I don't always see myself as a Sticky Person when it comes to the kingdom.

Toni and Tami have taught me that my story is sticky indeed but not because of who I am or what I've been through. It's because of how Christ has redeemed that story and because I am open to how He will use it in the lives of others.

Thank you, Toni and Tami, for writing @StickyJesus and engaging your readers with its truths. (My memory of meeting you both at Blissdom still makes me giggle.) Thank you, Michelle, for hosting the Read-Along. And thank you, dear readers, for sticking with me, a girl who is flawed yet hopeful about how her story will unfold. Your encouragement means more than you'll ever know.

This post was written for the @StickyJesus Read-Along hosted by Michelle Sarabia.

Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site.

What the History Books Left Out

2011-03-23T08:11:00.005-05:00

Thoughts of the South might tend toward associations with the Civil War, slavery, and the Civil Rights Movement. I wasn't sure what to expect when I moved to the Land of Dixie. The South is so much more than its stereotypes and yet we cannot deny these associations or that racism still exists in this country.

While I haven't witnessed any overt racism since living here, institutional racism is sadly alive and well. But this isn't limited to the South. Stereotypes continue and at times foster a sort of paternalism that makes me cringe. Look no further than the machinery behind Cabrini Green and sadly even gatherings in my hometown where racist jokes are lobbed without care.

We are all impacted by the history of slavery in the United States. To believe otherwise is foolish.

Almost proving this point, I recently realized that I was never taught our nation's true history.

"We cannot address the place we find ourselves because we will not acknowledge the road that brought us here. Our failure to confront the historical truth about how African Americans finally won their freedom presents a major obstacle to genuine racial reconciliation...The civil rights movement knocked down the formal and legal barriers to equal citizenship, but failed to give most African Americans real power in this society. In the intervening years, the nation has comforted itself by sanitizing the civil rights movement, commemorating it as a civic celebration that no one ever opposed. The enemies of the struggle ascended to national power and sought to diminish its memory, often by grinding off its rough edges and blunting its enduring critique of a dehumanizing economic and political system. The self-congratulatory popular account insists that Dr. King called on the nation to fully accept its own creed, and the walls came a-tumbling down. This conventional narrative is soothing, moving, and politically acceptable, and has the only disadvantage of bearing no resemblance to what actually happened." -Timothy B. Tyson, p. 318-319, emphasis mine

I became interested in reading Blood Done Sign My Name when Mary Kathryn offhandedly mentioned a story in which she was standing in line at the theater to see her cousin's movie. A movie that was based on his book about a black veteran killed in cold blood by three white men, in front of witnesses. It was 1970 and though the murderers were eventually taken to trial, the all-white jury found them not guilty.

Tim Tyson grew up in the town where this occurred. His story is irrevocably bound with that of Henry Marrow, the black veteran, and the Teel men, the murderers. His father was a Methodist minister who sought to reconcile his congregation with their bloody history and forge a new relationship between blacks and whites. Tyson gives an overview of slavery and all that led up to the civil rights movement, as well as how little whites did to make it happen. Not only just how little some did but also how much others did to keep it from happening, even after the law was changed. Worst of all, they twisted Christianity to fit their cause, as if God condoned their actions. Tyson's account is both mesmerizing and horrifying.

The murder happened a mere 10 years before I was born and the struggle for integrated schooling, work opportunities, and more continued throughout the 1970s and beyond. I had never heard anything of this before. This, all of this, was missing from my history books.

There was no "come to Jesus" moment after Martin Luther King Jr. shared his dream. Towns didn't set aside their segregation laws after the Civil Rights Act was passed. That was the only civil rights history I'd been taught, history books handing out one more slap in the face to those who fought for rights they never should have needed to fight for.

Blood Done Sign My Name makes me wonder what else in our nation's history has been watered down or glossed over. It's forced me to look at myself and my own history. It's tempting to think that Yankees are exempt from racial discourse but we're not. Lord help us if we ever believe that we are.

Mary Kathryn, Kim, and I are discussing the book offline. We're talking about our own experiences with race, racism, and prejudice.

It is easy to hesitate when talking about these things. We don't want to offend our loved ones that have perhaps pointed us in the wrong direction. We don't want to speak ill of people we know who blatantly worked to stop integration, especially if their character seems so incongruous with such actions. We don't want ourselves to be seen as racist or prejudiced- what if we say the wrong thing?

We say nothing and we wind up perpetuating the same messages.

What messages did I receive over the years? My immediate family has always counted those of other races and backgrounds as friends. I don't remember at what age I realized we had different skin color and even so, it never mattered to me. (Though I now wonder: did it matter to them?)

On the other hand, I remember insinuations from people I loved and respected that it would be best not to date any African American boys. I wrote about my high school crush Doug last summer; I didn't mention that he is African American. It had no bearing on why we never dated- that turned out to be more of a timing issue. But I know I'm not the only one who has been told that before, even though we live in an age where interracial relationships are more common.

I can't help but wonder if we are a product of our times and, if so, why we are content to remain there despite the disparity. What do we say to the elderly who refer to African Americans as colored or dispense their prejudice and stereotypes as givens? What do we say to our peers who speak racial jokes? What do I say to myself about my friendships with those of other races? Am I proud that I "don't see color"? Can I admit that I'm just a white girl who might unintentionally hurt the people of another race because of that very lens? What can I do about institutional racism?

Blood Done Sign My Name is undoubtedly one of the most important and eye-opening books I've ever read. I cannot view our nation's history in the same way. There are no tidy answers but I pray there is no more going backward either.

*Disclosure: Amazon Affiliate links included in this post. If you click through to Amazon from HopefulLeigh, any purchase you make supports this site. Thank you!

If you grew up during the civil rights era, what was your impression of race relations? If you're like me and grew up after the fact, what messages did you receive in your family about majority and minority races? Have you been personally impacted by racism? Does the United States have hope for reconciliation?

Quenching Thirst for the Water Revolution

2011-03-22T08:00:00.108-05:00

Every morning before work, I fill my Nalgene with water from the tap. I drink it throughout the day. I don't think twice about where it came from or that I can refill it whenever I want.

I don't worry about what's in my water. If I'm thirsty, it's only because I didn't stop to take a drink.

It kills me that this is not the reality for everyone in the world.

Today is World Water Day. And today, along with more than 100 other bloggers, I'm asking you to take part in the Water Revolution.

The Adventure Project is now working on another initiative: Keep It Clean. This time the focus is on bringing clean water to people in need in India.

Did you know that:

4,000 children die every day from lack of clean drinking water.
Tragically, 1/3 of all wells drilled in the last 20 years are now broken.
Often there are no tools, spare parts, or trained mechanics to fix them.

So, what's the solution?

WaterAid set up a Handpump Mechanic mechanics business about two years ago. Now, when a handpump breaks down, villagers can call to request a mechanic.While fixing the well, the mechanic educates the villagers on hygiene and well maintenance in an effort to prevent disease and future breakdowns. The mechanics also bring water samples to the lab to ensure that the water is safe to drink. Click here to read the awesome story of Ram Rati, one of the first female handpump mechanics, and see how this program is making a difference.

The Keep It Clean Campaign's goal is to help WaterAid increase well repairs so that 700 more people have access to clean water each month.

And here's where we come in! 4 bloggers have set the goal to raise $10,000 dollars today to support a well mechanics program in India.

100 bloggers are challenging 10 of their readers to give $20. Would you consider giving $20 today? Your $20 would ensure clean water for 3 people! Raising $10,000 means mechanics will be able to repair wells for years to come, turning water back on for 300 people per month.

And if $10,000 is raised today, the Prem Rawat Foundation has decided to match it, meaning we will have $20,000 to go toward providing clean water!

That is huge!

Your donation is 100% tax-deductible, will be matched by the Prem Rawat Foundation, and will support The Adventure Project's Keep It Clean Campaign for India. Click here to donate.

Don't miss out on the Water Revolution! Please let me know if you decide to donate $20 toward this worthy cause, either in the comments or by email. And please spread the word by linking to this post on Facebook and Twitter!

Got Coal?

2011-03-21T08:00:00.001-05:00

You may remember that I'm a part of the Adventure Project Tribe. You may also remember that I gave my brother coal for Christmas so that a Haitian family could have a charcoal-efficient stove. This may be the only time my brother was happy to get coal for Christmas. I kid, I kid. He is all about generosity and helping others. This gift was the perfect fit for him and his "I don't want any Christmas presents" ways.

The Adventure Project has undertaken a new initiative that I'm super excited about! We are being given an awesome opportunity, not just here, but uniting with 100 other bloggers and their readers to make a difference.

Be sure to check back tomorrow for details.

And now I have to know: Did you or your siblings ever get coal for Christmas?

Sunday Sentiments: At the Core

2011-03-20T12:39:00.000-05:00

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

Friday night I submitted a piece to A Deeper Story about my recent struggles. (Do you read A Deeper Story yet? Because you totally should. Always excellent and thought-provoking.) I've been praying about "next steps" and God had revealed one to me, which I've been trying to put into practice. I felt good about what I wrote and about this new direction.

Saturday morning I perused the usual suspects instead of working on my book (oops) and landed on (in)courage (another one to add to your Reader), where Sarah Mae unveiled the free e-book she wrote: Core Lies. The subtitle is compelling: Discovering and Dealing with the Lies We Don't Even Know We Believe. Yes, I thought. That's me.

For the last few years, I've been frustrated with my inability to move past a part of my life that I know I have freedom from. But since that's one of the biggest puzzle pieces of my life, when some of my issues come back, I assume that that's what it's related to.

Core Lies clarified this for me. Different spokes from the same wheel. That stuff from my past is in my past but it is connected to a core lie that hasn't been dealt with. Mostly because I didn't realize that there was a core lie. That's their nefarious nature- they are such a part of our normal, every day lives we don't even realize we're living out untruths.

Our beliefs about ourselves are impacted by these core lies, which then shape our goals, behaviors, and emotions. Which, of course, impacts every other aspect of our lives.

I read the e-book in one sitting, often with tears in my eyes. I can't say that I've figured out the root issue yet but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I plan to go through the section on working through core lies, giving it the time it deserves. I know it's not going to be pretty or easy. Now is a time for continued prayer and talking these insights through with my trusted inner circle.

I'm ready to understand and put the old ways behind me.

*No one asked me to review this e-book. I'm sharing it with you because of how it has already impacted me. Perhaps it will be helpful to you, perhaps not, but this is something that God is using to provide a glimpse into my heart.

In Search of Content

2011-03-17T11:00:00.000-05:00

“Whatever your niche in life, when you join social networks, the goal is to pepper your biblical content with interesting, culturally relevant, humorous, entertaining posts that uniquely bring God's voice into your area of wonderment of expertise.” -@StickyJesus, p. 160

This week I've been trying to answer two valuable questions for anyone involved with blogging and social media.
Where do I get my ideas from?
How do I decide who (blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) to follow?
As we've discussed throughout this @StickyJesus Read-Along, there are many things clamoring for our attention, both on-line and in real life. It's important to sift the good from the bad, as well as identify your go-to sources for inspiration...

I'm guest-posting at Michelle Sarabia's in a continuation of our @StickyJesus Read-Along. Click here to read the rest...